Entry 306 - Re-Discovering Myself

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February 2020
 
I feel like this time in my life right now, this season, or whatever you want to call it, has been dedicated to exploring... I’m exploring my old favorite sports, such as basketball and tennis. I’m exploring love, such as with truly feeling it and entering into a relationship with someone. I’m exploring wake-surfing. I’m having game nights again, I’m messing with my guy friends and pulling fat pranks on them ... I’m just returning to me. I just feel like my focus is outward into adventure right now. It reminds me when I was five, doing every single sport. I feel like I’m returning to my roots of who I was when I was five years old... 

Before all the masks, before all the faking to fit in, before the giving up of my favorite sports, before conforming for the sake of others. Yes, I might not be doing a lot of YouTube right now, but I feel like this season of life is completely vital to my solid switch to the real me, who I really am, what I like to do, who I like to hang with and how I like to express myself. It’s vital that I fully re-enter into this state that represents me in all its greatest components... adventurous, competitive, strong, team player, active, prankster and so on.

I am glad I’m rediscovering myself now and not later because I do not want to ever lose myself again, and I’m especially glad that I’m doing this before going into the public eye because standing strong in who I am will help me resist the mask of who I’m not for the sake of fitting in. I’ll be able to withstand the judgment and what not because I now know it’s worse to lose myself and become another copy and way more joyful to live authentically and unapologetically as I truly am.

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