Entry 340 - Combative Discussions

9/30/20

When you say something that someone feels could be threatening to their current belief system, they tend to have what I like to call "combative reactions." For example, one time I tried bringing up a scientific fact that 90% of our days are regulated by our subconscious.

I brought it up because I am trying to become more aware and share that awareness with others. The person's reaction wasn’t, “Oh, tell me more,” nor did she have any desire or intent to hear what I had to say about it. Instead, her reaction was defensive, aimed at protecting her current belief system.

So, she brought up how she needs to be rooted and grounded in Christ so that things go well, which I’m not saying is wrong. The point is, she stopped listening to what I had to say and instead countered with something that aligned better with her beliefs.  

If someone genuinely is listening to you, they will let you talk. If someone is not defensive, they will be open-minded and hear what you have to say. If they don’t derive their sense of self from their personal beliefs, then nothing can trigger them to get defensive, because their identity goes beyond their beliefs and does not threaten them in any way.

However, when someone does derive their sense of self from their beliefs, it’s unconscious, because the ego is afraid of anything that could threaten its death, and having your beliefs threatened is considered a death to the ego. You put your identity within a belief, and if that belief is destroyed, the ego feels destroyed, and since you identify with the fears of your ego, you too have that fear, whether you are conscious of it or not.

So the point I’m making is that people are either open, willing to listen, willing to set their ego aside and grow, stay curious, or they are closed, not willing to listen. They wear their ego and combat your words with their own beliefs to protect themselves. The root cause of this is the person’s unwillingness to accept the moment as it is, to accept who is speaking, to hear them, to notice them, and to learn from them.

I always say everyone is a mini lesson of some sort. People reflect us in such a way that we can become more conscious of our own selves than if we were alone. The minute we choose to stop the learning process by shutting off, combating someone’s words, or becoming defensive, that is when we lose the lesson in the moment and play our past as our present.