Entry 2,108-Entry 2,131
Entry 2,108 - February 29, 2024
Agnostics, in my opinion, is the humblest path because they don’t claim to know for sure what happens beyond the grave, which forces one to be extremely present.
Entry 2,109 - March 1, 2024
I can definitely see the allure of many religious communities. Normally, they are centered around the most charismatic person who seems the most moral or whatever benchmark that religious community values the most. They see that person as a spokesperson, a representation of what they can become.
Most religions shaped like this are devotionally aligned rather than present-awareness aligned, like Zen Buddhism. They uphold devotion above everything else, hence the structure of their religious community reflecting devotion as the cornerstone of their benchmark for spiritual or religious progress.
That’s why, oftentimes, you have people who are extremely devoted to their religious community. They want to be "moral," or "help God build His kingdom," or "find favor in the sight of God," because they believe devotion is the highest form of morality. That’s what they were pitched by these people, and they accepted it as the main criteria for spiritual advancement.
Entry 2,110 - March 3, 2024
Logical reasoning is the language of conceptual understanding, created within the framework of humanity by humans.
Feelings are the language of the soul, created by our multidimensional selves to explore every facet of our being.
Playing with both are experiences that change one’s perspective of humanity and oneself.
Entry 2,111 - March 12, 2024
Sometimes I fear that I will never find love.
It’s not because I think I’m not good enough,
But rather that I don’t think anyone could top how I feel when I’m alone.
Every relationship I’ve been in has added a scar to my heart.
It took me months, if not years, to recover, and I don’t even know if I have.
And when I’m alone, just with myself,
A peace beyond anything I can explain envelops me.
I lay in the blanket of the quietness of my soul.
I relax into its embrace and enjoy the beauty of solitude.
I’m able to be me, be free, and finally enjoy it all for myself.
That scares me—that I prefer solitude over a lover.
But I want a family.
I want children.
I want to take my kids to Disneyland and watch their faces light up with excitement.
I want to watch their curiosity spark when they enter a new ride they’ve never been in before.
I want them to feel like they have a father who is their biggest supporter,
A best friend,
A buddy for life who will always fight for them.
But I doubt it will ever actually happen.
I don’t know if she’s out there.
I worry that this is all hypothetical.
I worry that before I came here, I didn’t plan for a family.
My own personal opposition.
An antagonist to my own desire for love.
Entry 2,112 - March 13, 2024
I noticed I prefer to process information by communicating it; otherwise, it feels like it gets stuck in a loop in my head, playing over and over, preventing me from sleeping.
Entry 2,113 - March 13, 2024
I believe parents should study to be parents like they would study to pass the bar for law or to get into med school.
It is not a light responsibility to raise a human being.
If anything, it’s the most important thing one could do in their life. They are quite literally creating the next generation, which will either help heal the planet and its inhabitants or further destroy it all.
Entry 2,114 - March 15, 2024
RISA Framework:
- Is it real or a misunderstanding?
- Is it important enough to justify disagreement?
- Is the topic of disagreement specific enough to make progress?
- Are we aligned in our objectives and willing to partake in that conversation?
Entry 2,115 - March 19, 2024
How do we know that when God was talking to people, it wasn’t actually just schizophrenia?
Entry 2,116 - March 21, 2024
The feeling that many religious people say they experience while worshiping—the feeling they call the Holy Spirit—I get that feeling whenever I create art in the theater.
I get that feeling when I tap into the depth of my emotions as an artist.
It is sacred. It is an amazing force.
As artists, we learn, day by day, how to instantaneously tap into this sacred space—
Feeling deeper for ourselves,
Feeling deeper for our comrades,
Feeling deeper for our enemies.
Emotions are divinity.
They are a sacred energy, a force—call it what you want: Holy Spirit, emotions, divinity.
It is what unites us. It is what creates the human experience.
Without emotions, we would just be disassociated blobs, doing things for no reason.
Emotions drive our wants, desires, and the fight to live.
Emotions create.
Emotions ground us.
Emotions are the Force they talk about in Star Wars,
The unity they talk about in religions,
The creation and journey they talk about in movies.
Entry 2,117 - March 22, 2024
She asked me what this was.
I didn’t know.
One minute, we were talking about physics.
The next, we were in each other's arms.
There was something so sexy about it—
Intelligence marinating in beauty.
The caress of a caring hand
While exploring the topics of the universe.
There was something so sexy about her voice,
Her French accent taking me back to my hostel-hopping days—
The days when I had the utmost freedom.
If one country wasn’t cutting it, I’d simply hop on a train to the next.
Her smile.
Her giggle.
I asked her to meet me at the beach at sunset.
She did.
We walked side by side before staring out into the universe—
Like a rom-com that stood still.
We knew there was something holy about our meeting,
But we also knew this might be the last time in a long time we’d be together.
Before we parted, I gave her one last kiss.
I told her to remember me.
We made plans to meet in the middle.
But as time went by, the plans did too.
She’s with someone now, but I know she hasn’t forgotten.
I know she still remembers.
Or a man could hope.
Entry 2,118 - March 22, 2024
So many silent lovers have I let go.
I can’t even count.
For their number is now one flow,
Of moments I could’ve pursued
But instead left for someone else.
And now I sit here thinking—
What would it have been like to be loved by them?
How many scars would have been healed?
How many memories could we have created?
What stories would we have made?
Why didn’t I pursue?
Why did I let go?
Entry 2,119 - March 23, 2024
They see emotions as weak.
And because of that, their relationships are weak.
Entry 2,120 - March 25, 2024
The reason why New Age psychics and metaphysical beliefs are superior to Christian principles in many ways is because they give power back to the individual—rather than using people as batteries to fuel a group that will act beyond their vote or request.
Empowering the individual to expand beyond limitations will always triumph over religions that create unnecessary constraints.
Entry 2,121 - March 28, 2024
If people are worried about offending someone, it could be because they don’t know how to study people’s predictive behavior.
Entry 2,122 - March 30, 2024
You know those tingles you feel during worship?
As an MFA actor, we are trained to be able to instantly turn those on or off.
IT’S CALLED EMOTIONS.
Energy in motion.
Call it what you want, but just remember—
Emotions are what make us human.
Emotions give us the chance to experience love
Through the contrast brought forth
From reality dipped in duality.
Entry 2,123 - March 30, 2024
As I’m transitioning my reading from religious texts to works by operatives who excel in human relations, communications, and intelligence, I’m coming across patterns of thought that strike me as incredibly interesting.
Religion is starting to feel like throwing spaghetti at a wall to see if it sticks. It often revolves around a person who then becomes like a deity to followers, offering truths that help them in some way, shape, or form—but most of it is not objectively true.
Religion is a framework of reality that shapes how one sees the world subjectively. It doesn’t actually answer questions objectively, but rather offers possible opinions based on subjective perceptions that one thinks might be best.
For example, what is considered a sin in Christianity might be seen as a celebratory act by non-Christians. This also varies by time period. For instance, medieval Christians in Europe had no issue eating the flesh of human mummies, but modern Christians would most likely find that horrendous and disgusting.
However, as I study the writings of former FBI and CIA operatives, I’m learning that there is a distinct science and pattern to emotions, communication, and intelligence-gathering—backed by years of peer-reviewed research.
Instead of listening to some guy in a flowy white robe tell you his opinion on how having an emotional reaction will keep you from nirvana (which is a fear-based belief about expressing certain emotions), one can focus on actual data. Emotional expression is healthy, and on top of that, there are formulas for best practices in expressing emotions that help resolve conflict rather than escalate it.
Entry 2,124 - April 5th, 2024
Tucker says he doesn’t want to be bossed around by a machine, yet he lets a god created by men boss him around.
Same meaning, different label.
Entry 2,125 - April 5th, 2024
What if most of the leaders of current religious movements are sociopaths, and what their followers see as their leader's supposed ability to conquer their emotions is actually just their leader's lack of ability to connect to their emotions—because they have been naturally muted from years of emotional, mental, and physical abuse?
Entry 2,126 - April 13, 2024
In acting, we talk a lot about a character’s want and need. Those two things are the crux of helping us develop a specific character. Without them, it’s very easy to play our own personal wants and needs based on how we would react in that situation.
In our present time, many Eastern religions still loudly proclaim that wants and needs get in the way of one’s nirvana, enlightenment, or paradise. This negative connotation encourages people to become what I like to call “gray blobs” with no opinions, no desires, and no wants—aimless little blobs subservient to their religion, completely malleable by it.
But the thing is, part of the human experience is having an opinion, a want, a need, a desire. In my opinion, all of that is what brought us here to experience this special existence, illusorily confined to this meat sack. That is the name of the game. Whether you admit it or not, we all want the people we love to want us back, to even need us. Even if you don’t admit it, the depths of your dualistic programming will rat you out and say so. It’s in our programming. It’s part of the reason we came here. And oh, how amazing is it to not only be perceived but also wanted and needed by those we love dearly!
If you feel guilty or ashamed for admitting that, just remember—all of you is valid. Every aspect of you is valid. Everything on Earth, whether we deny it or accept it, is in a state of interdependence in some way, shape, or form. Imagine if we all decided we didn’t need trees and got rid of them. Now, let’s imagine the trees were aware of us not wanting or needing them to give us clean air to breathe. Imagine how sad that would be for the tree to realize it is no longer useful to us. Now switch out the tree for yourself.
Being wanted and needed is a normal feeling. It is part of the experience, so stop trying to run from it and embrace it instead.
I remember when I was little, I often wondered if there was anything “worse” than hating someone, and I came to the conclusion that there was. Treating someone as if they don’t even exist is, in my opinion, worse because you are quite literally stating they mean absolutely nothing to you. Their existence isn’t enough for you to even bat an eye in their direction.
So many people fear being forgotten or not existing, and really, I think that fear comes from not feeling needed or wanted. I’ve even realized I would rather have people hate me than treat me like I don’t exist, because, in a strange way, there is still an interdependence connecting us. That hate acts like a rope binding us together to experience some sort of contrast to love. It might not be pleasant, but it’s still an experience unique to Earth life.
But if someone treats you like you don’t exist, like you might as well be air because they don’t care, then that’s far from any earthly experience. You could do that on any planet, in any universe, anywhere. It’s not specific, it’s not intentional—it’s just blob behavior.
Entry 2,127 - April 15, 2024
If you believe in something, then it becomes true to you. So, with this definition of “truth,” it is synonymous with what you believe, and that type of truth is subjective to each person.
That type of truth, based on subjective experiences, would mean that truth could be manipulated.
If truth is something defined as objective, grounded, proven, and substantiated, then a lie would be anything that is not true. Truth could change if more information was given.
If truth is contingent on information, and information changes, then that means truth is still built on subjective terms. It changes based on information, just like how truth, in terms of belief, changes from person to person.
So, in this way, truth is subjective because everything is in relation to everyone, and everything is in a constant state of change.
Truth that is not built on context or content but exists before, in, and through all things is what I like to label as reality. How are we to encapsulate reality? It is much harder to claim it solely as part of a religious or spiritual group due to its open-ended and all-encompassing definition. And how on Earth would we even begin to try?
Entry 2,128 - April 15, 2024
When you have a situation where two people disagree, they are displaying two separate subjective truths based on their own perspectives. Both are fighting for their truth to triumph over the other person’s truth.
The weak always give in to their opponent’s truth, even if they don’t believe it. They let the other person win at the expense of their own dignity, respect, and livelihood.
The strong always stand firm against their opponent’s truth when it tries to undermine their character.
Moral superiority is when someone tries to paint you in a way that makes you look bad. Even if they’re not offended, they will use whatever they can to make it seem like you are wrong and they are right—based on opinions, not facts.
Entry 2,129 - April 15, 2024
Religions create their gods and their demons.
Truth existed before anything was. It exists, persists, and is.
In order for the demon rhetoric to exist, it must have a religious framework to play within.
The demons that haunt people are their own creation.
I wear my prior fears like armor against the truly heartless—the takers, the fakers, the Christians forcing conversion, the abusers.
Entry 2,130 - April 18, 2024
Headline: Why Scientists Think We Might Live Inside a Black Hole
The way religion would phrase this is: God within God within God for eternity.
Entry 2,131 - April 28, 2024
I personally think the Law of One material is a misdirection of the truth. It’s a framework of reality that denies an aspect of humanity in order to convince people to follow one path. But in reality, humanity is a melody of two paths. The more you go on one side, realistically, the more you will feel of the other side.
There is a constant seesaw, a constant teeter-totter between one end and the other because that is the reality of duality.
This belief that you must either go down the path of service to self or service to others is a gross oversimplification of actual humanity.
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