Entry 31-31.5

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Entry 31 - Lesson on Painfully Hard Trials 

One thing I've learned very intensely is the hardest trials tend to create the biggest lessons and the largest growth in our lives. If you were to tell me what I was going to go through, I wouldn't believe you. I couldn't believe you. I couldn't fathom the pain I would have to endure, and I wouldn't think I'd make it.

But that's the beauty of God. At the end of your rope, God's hand is outstretched to you. He doesn't leave you broken and abandoned. He walks beside you. He takes care of you. He heals you. What you couldn't survive, God helped you survive. He holds you in ways you won't even realize until you return to Him. Through doctors, through family members, through friends, through angels. He's in the midst of all your healing and makes sure you're taken care of.

He completely understands the pain you feel and will never abandon you. He'll get you through it and one day your trial might be part of someone else's life-line. It'll be their motivation to know that if you got through what you did, then they can get through what they're going through and be okay.

I sit here in absolute awe of what God helped me get through. Though some of the trials I went through I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, I am thankful for the hard but much needed lessons I've learned and how these trials have increased my desire to improve radiating God's love and reflect God's glory. In the end, my goal is that I want the world to know how truly awesome God is and to be aware how much He loves everyone. Without Him, I absolutely would not be who I am today, so if I have anything to boast in at all, I boast in God.

Entry 31.5 - Many Lessons From Vidcon

July 2019

Vidcon has been an answer to prayer. I realized that my passivity to chasing my dreams and not setting goals is killing my opportunities in the future. I can't wait for things to fall in my lap, I have to work my lil toosh off day in and day out. Hearing these successful YouTubers made me realize they literally put it all on the line. They strived for perfection. They set ambitious goals and they achieved them. They never stopped, even when it got hard.

I complained about the time spent to shoot, edit and publish taking 6-8 hours when they're putting in whole days of just shooting and multiple days of editing. I realized how much I've underperformed in that area during the summer. I know during the semester that's another story, but this summer is a gift to do just that. To finally put those 50 hours into YouTube and treat it as my future. To hit those milestones and to not care what other people think. Just like with any job, any career, there are definite goals, that's the same with YouTube, and now I'm not afraid to set my goals and reach them and if someone doesn't like that, it's fine it's not their life. I'm going to take every opportunity to live my best life regardless.

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