Entry #22 - Lesson for Generous People

If you're a very generous person, be aware that there will be people out there who will try to take advantage of your generosity. People will take advantage of the fact that you enjoy doing nice things for others and use that as an excuse to keep taking from you. Sometimes it's through perpetually taking from you and never giving in return, and other times it's less subtle, and they'll even go as far as to insist on something and not even ask you if it's okay.

They'll put you in an uncomfortable position so even if you say no, you're the one in the wrong. They'll keep taking and taking, even up until the point that you're so drained you forget to take care of yourself and spend time with your family and the friends who do make sure to give back.You need to be aware that if someone isn't pulling their weight and they're taking more than they're giving, then you absolutely need to put boundaries up and protect yourself.

You need to understand that you don't owe them anything. If you can't give them what they want, that's not your fault. They can find someone else to take from, but you need to first take care of yourself and the close family and friends God has placed in your life before you even think about giving to people who you mainly just in your life to take from you.

If they try to guilt-trip you for when you do try to say no and when you do try to set boundaries, then that shows a flaw in their own character. It shows that either they're not aware of how draining they actually are that you had to draw a major line in the sand because they were that needy and that much of a taker in the first place, and that has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them.

Or if they know they're taking advantage of you, then that's disturbing, and you shouldn't surround yourself with people who know they're taking advantage of you but then still continue to do so.

You are not an unlimited source of eternal positive energy with all the time in the world to just give, give, and never receive. You have commitments. You have places to be. You have a life. You have goals to accomplish and not enough time to be taken advantage by insensitive people who either know or don't know they're taking advantage of you.

Again, I cannot say this enough: When you say no, don't feel obligated to tell them why. You don't owe them anything. Be firm, be honest, and don't let them guilt-trip you into stepping over the boundaries you've created to protect yourself from being drained out.

Let them find another person to take from because you do not have time for that. You can't control that they're mainly takers and not givers, but you can control your response and put boundaries up to protect yourself. Don't feel bad for doing that because at the end of the day, your health, your well-being is just as important as theirs, and you need to take care of yourself before, even for a second, thinking of caring for others.