Entry 77 - Being Picky with who you Pour into

9/8/19

Life as an extrovert has its own challenges, just like life as an introvert or an ambivert would. The challenges differ, but there always are solutions and ways to live one's best life as either one, regardless of what your personality is and so on. For me, I am around 56% extrovert and 44% introvert, but that percentage oscillates based off of a lot of factors. So in short, I believe right now I'm more of an ambivert than anything.

The challenges I face are finding a proper balance. If I don't have a balance of extrovert and introvert moments, I can easily feel overwhelmed and not accomplish what I want to accomplish. Too much extraversion can leave me with unfinished assignments, not taking care of what I need to do, and longing for alone time, which leads me to being drained out. Too much introversion can lead me to feeling lonely, longing to be having fun, feeling drained out from all the work I am doing alone and so on.

Since I tend to be a little more extroverted, I tend to suffer more from the challenges that specifically accompany those who are extroverted. Too much extraversion causes me to lose sight of my goals in life and to forget to show love and support to my family and close friends loyally, daily, and with much care. With extraversion, it's easy to not turn anyone away because you love people, but then instead of putting that energy towards those in your life you're close to, you can easily forget to give your family and close friends that time and rather, put it towards other people who don't care for you as much, and who are in need of something from you in a short period of time. 

It isn't bad to help people, but it also doesn't hurt to be intentional with who you pour into. If you keep on pouring into people who never pour back into you, it's easy to become drained out very fast. But when you redirect your time and energy to those who are close to you, to those who deeply care about you and deeply love you, you are taken care of and poured back into.

If you're extroverted in any way, just remember: don't feel guilty for not giving your time and energy to people who want it but aren't close to you. A lot of people want people, but if you gave everyone who wanted a piece of you your time, and you drained yourself out so that you can't take care of yourself or your family and close friends, what good is that going to do for you? How is neglecting those closest to you for those who barely know you, and who constantly need you but don't pour back into you beneficial for you? It really isn't.

I'm not saying don't help people who aren't close to you, but to be simply conscientious of how you use your time and energy. If you can properly take care of your needs, your family's needs and your close friends needs, and you have extra time on your hands, then yes by all means help that person out! But also expect that you might not be poured back into the way you expected. And that should be considered when giving help to them that they most likely won't know the proper way to pour into you.  There may be a hundred different reasons why they can't pour into you how you wish to be poured into, so it's important to not lay heavy expectations on those who are not in your inner circle.

There will be times when it's tempting to place your limited time and energy with those who are not in your inner circle because you see them every day, or for some other reason, but just remember you don't owe anyone anything and just like you want what's best for them, remember you also want to do what's best with what God has given you with your family and close friends.

Be comforted knowing that there will always be other people out there who have known them longer than you have, who more likely know how to better take care of them, and will hopefully be a good friend to them. But if they aren't a good friend, that's the other person's responsibility to seek new friends who will invest a lot of time and energy into their friendship. So all in all, it isn't ideal to sacrifice the precious amount of time and energy into someone you just met when you first can pour it into your family and close friendships first and foremost.

So if you're an extrovert, be mindful of where you place your time and energy and with whom. Remember to always take care of your needs first before helping others and take care of the needs working from your inner circle to your outer circle. If you've taken care of yourself, your family, and your close friends, and you notice that you still have some time and energy, and you want to help someone else out, then help them out. It's a good idea to always try to be intentional with your interactions.