Exploring Life

9/30/20 I guess the reason why I don’t have much faith in religions such as Christianity anymore  (but still in God)  is because Christianity failed to prepare me and my family for the world. The Bible is a collection of other people’s stories with God, but it doesn’t go into depth about awareness and how to break free from unconscious behavior, bad habits, anxiety, and stress. It may tell us not to worry, but it doesn’t show us how. Or it may tell us we’re not our thoughts, but it doesn’t go into depth on any of that. It scratches the surface of a lot of important topics because it isn’t meant to be read as a manual on how to do life; it is primarily a collection of stories of how they did life, including their mistakes, victories, consolation, wisdom, symbols, allegories, and so on. Then, when I read books like A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, I was fascinated and learned and grew so much because it’s all meant to be applicable to my life in the present moment. It’s not a story of someo

5/19/20 Many people may wonder about my allegiance to religion, and I would say I have none. I'm completely allegiant and devoted to God, but not religion. I do believe one can learn a lot from different religions, traditions, and cultures, but I am not defined by any. There are many reasons why but I'll try to go in depth about my personal experience. Growing up, I went to church with my family. I would say I always loved God (even if I didn't understand God) when I was told about God, but I didn't make Christianity my own religion until around 6th grade. I then believed in order to be close to God, I had to be close to Christianity or else my relationship with God wasn't right, and I couldn't "be close to God." As the years go by, I still fell in love with God, but I expected Christianity to be the mediator between me and God and solve my problems. I wasn't taught how to solve them myself with God, but was expected to continue to go every thr

5/11/20 I think the biggest thing that is keeping people from new experiences that are different from what they already know is their inherent fear of the unknown. If someone is afraid of the unknown, they are more likely to cling to the habits of life, to the automatic pilot of life. Their body craves feeling, touching, hearing and experiencing the same things because within that they feel a protection around the known.  However also within that known there is little to no growth, staleness, predictability, and an automatic response to life. When your body gets used to doing certain things, it strengthens the neurons and the connections around that thing until you no longer consciously do it, but your habits literally become an unconscious byproduct of your waking life. Instead of you ruling your mind, your mind rules you with what it already knows.  The known is led by the known, and that safety feels reassuring. However, when one makes peace with the unknown, and they are constantly

3/8/20 I think what's hard about Christianity is it can potentially feed into our weaknesses and insecurities by saying "oh you're not enough", or "you're broken", or "you're sinful" and then Christianity will try to fix you, the broken project.  I USED to believe that narrative, but now I don't because I believe the truth is, God is already within every single human being. He is everywhere and in all places, in all creation. There is no where He is not. You don't need a special connection from some priest to be one with God, you already are one with God. The very fact that your soul is immortal is proof that you are connected to the Source of immortality, God.  Christians try to sell it like "Oh I'm going to give you Jesus, and you'll be fixed" but in actuality they're selling their religion, their beliefs, their community, the whole entire package to you. They want you fully connected, fully invested, fully p

August 18th, 2023 When I stand outside in the darkness of the night I’m subtly reminded this home is not my own Its peaceful trees are someone else’s seed It’s land the expression of another man I know this is my last incarnation here And if feels bittersweet to behold it as a mirror But I can’t help feel like a foreigner in this body Still an amateur in my own unique hobbies I sit I stand, I get up and command I tell this body to do this, do that, don’t forget to crap. Then I retreat back into a deep state of Me. And it all folds into one thing. Relentlessly it becomes like the wave of a sea. How interesting it is ‘to be.’ I will miss this Earth and all its inhabitants. But I know that this is not the time to write death notes. But to write the future and what it holds. But as of now I can’t help but feel both dead and alive For meditation deconstructs linear time and replaces it with concentric rhymes of life It unveils the behind scenes of this mysterious cosmic dream. The earth the

"Absolute Truth is not a belief, not a religion, not a philosophy, not a momentary experience, and not a transient spiritual experience either. It is neither static nor in motion, neither good nor bad. It is other than all of that, more other than you can ever imagine. Truth cannot be touched by thought or imagined by the mind. It can only be found in the heart of universal being. To know thy self is the key. To bring forth your being is The Way."                              - Adyashanti

12/30/19 Let's use a court case as an example to better illustrate an example of using a chain of subjectivity to defend one's doctrine. Say Bob was accused of running a red light. Then witness A says in court he saw Bob run a red light. But then John, who wasn't even there, says he felt in his heart that Witness B who was there when Bob ran the red light, is a good person and therefore a good witness, and believes the testimony of Witness B that Bob would never do such a thing because he is a good person in his heart. Obviously you are going to believe witness A rather than John, who wasn't even there! I mean it would've helped to have Witness B there, but even then, if Witness B isn't going to relay the objective facts and only use his subjective perception of the character of Bob, then that also isn't a very good defense against Witness A!  That is what is happening with the doctrinal arguments of the Bible in regard to praying to the dead. I'm not s

10/28/19 In all my life, I have never felt the way I feel now. As I write this, my hands shake at the emotion I feel. Now I get why God continually called His people out of wicked lands such as Chaldea for Abraham, Sodom and Gomorrah for Lot and his family, and Egypt for Moses and the Israelites. Remaining in a place where there's so much evil, it literally makes me want to throw up. Where the people around you are doing the worst things you've never witnessed and that make you physically sick. It must have been such a relief for Abraham, Moses, and Lot to leave that behind and start a new life serving God in an environment that isn't plagued with sin and wickedness. It's one thing when someone sins, it's a whole other thing when someone not only sins, but they deeply enjoy it, and they look forward to the next time they can do it again. Where they are so attached to evil that it's like it follows them wherever they go, leaving a long rancid stench in every ar

10/20/19 What I realized is that one of the biggest problems in improv is not listening to your partner. Other problems are: not being aware of what they're saying, what you're saying and only doing what you want but not giving any time to the other players.

10/18/19 He who perceives all beings in the Self, and the Self in all beings, does not entertain any hatred on account of that perception.       - Ishavaysa Upanishad

10/17/19 Signs of the Ego: Demanding attention for something that you did. Giving your opinion when no one asked for it, and when it makes no difference for the current situation. Trying to get attention by talking about your problems, or the hard and horrible situations that you've gone through, or making a scene. Being more concerned about how the other person sees you rather than the other person. In every situation, you treat yourself like you're the center of the universe. With any situation, you only see things from your perspective, and you see your perspective as the only correct one. You are right, they are wrong. Even if you're wrong, they don't understand how they are actually also wrong in your eyes as well. It doesn't matter if they're perfect, you still find fault in someone and blow it up, complain, and gossip about it.  You grow animosity towards people who criticize you because it diminishes your ego and threatens your egos' existence. You d

9/29/19 Sometimes the biggest attackers of something are those who are hurting the most, either for the same reasons deep, deep down or because of other issues in their life that cultivated a life of criticism and judgment. I understand there are people out there who honestly are confused and are just doing what they were told to believe by their church or by those they respect.  Or maybe they grew up with their parents preaching a certain destructive mentality. Nonetheless, most times people who go out of their way to show intense disapproval of others are very miserable in their own lives. They're so miserable, and so the way they deal with that misery is by trying to make people feel as miserable as themselves.They might not even know that's the true unconscious reason behind why they attack people, but it is the reason behind a lot. People will hide behind religion, behind people, behind anything besides themselves to give them a reason to attack someone else and try to ma

8/12/19 In some denominations within Christianity, we are told to tell others, "pray this prayer, and you'll be saved." Don't get me wrong, I love and appreciate prayer very much, but I believe saving is much more than just that. I feel as if so many people use prayer as a means to an end rather than the purpose of being in the p resence of God. It's as if prayer has been reduced to something sort of like a get out of jail for free card rather than as a way to access the divine, peaceful, presence of God.  I believe the true aim of our lives isn't just to get out of whatever we consider bad, but rather to become fully enlightened of who we truly are, and the unlimited, unending, eternal God, and the oneness we all share whether we believe it or not. I've known people who've suffered with anxious, stressful, depressing, suicidal thoughts and so on. Some considered chronic and some that come and go. I've not only heard of it, I've experienced

8/11/19 I cannot begin to fathom how amazing our Creator God is. These past few months, I've felt the hand of God so vibrantly in my life that I'm in constant awe of all that is going on in and around me. Inwardly, I've had a peace from God that no matter how hard it's gotten outside of me, the peace within has never left.  And my focus of trying to see the good in every situation, to see the beauty in every person, and to consciously look for ways to give back and help others have created a supercharged positive emotion fill me beyond what I've ever experienced before in my life.  Even when I hit valleys, I still experience them as peaks, and when I'm on a peak, I'm at a place where I don't want to do anything else but to love and serve those around me. God continues to amaze me day by day.

8/9/19 I don't understand it, but deep down it just feels right. Everything just feels like it's meant to be. I don't know why, but it just is. I'm not fighting against, I'm not chasing it, I'm just being and somehow just being has brought me exactly where I am now and right now I feel beyond amazing.  I feel like I'm on cloud infinity. Not because of what is outside of me, but the peace of what is within me. I feel like tapping into this peace has allowed only the best to come my way. The best situations, best people, best challenges, best everything. Nothing in the past, nothing in the future can compare to right now, this very moment.

8/9/19 I don't understand it. I don't know if I ever will. I feel like sometimes the universe moves, and things fall into place. Sometimes naturally people fall out of your life and others naturally fall right in.

8/4/19 "The purpose of human life is to realize the Self, who is but God himself and attain oneness with Him."           - Bhagavad-gītā Therefore, the Bhagavad-gītā clearly affirms Brahman (God) as the highest goal (parandhama). He is to be realized through contemplation upon the Self (God). Liberation is the ultimate aim (parmartha) of human life, but God is the ultimate goal."            - Commentary from site As I learn from that which I do not know, I continue to be in awe of how similar our aims and goals really are with those we may not know much about. We tend to look outward at the forms and methods, but God looks at the heart. When someone is seeking the Creator, I believe regardless of where they're from, what culture they ascribe to, what religion they were born into, I believe they'll be able to find the Creator of the Universe. Hinduism has many branches and sects just as any other religion has, but one of the oldest branches of Hinduism asks those

July 29th, 2019 I cannot begin to fathom how amazing God is. He is beyond my wildest dreams. He is beyond all the wonders of the world. He is beyond all good things combined. He is more vast than the stars, and yet as available to us as the air we breathe. He is infinite yet here with us in this very moment.  His love for us is so intense that we cannot even being to even scratch the surface of its depths. How do you fully comprehend the Creator of an infinite, unending universe, who is everywhere and all places and in all places?  How can you truly understand the one who knows all people and their deepest parts in every single place all at the same time? How is He available to 7.6 billion people, and yet He still cares about me? I cannot begin to fathom how amazing God truly is.

7/19/19 At the end of the day, it matters the most that you protect yourself from that which is possibly threatening your happiness. Always strive to be loving, kind, and nice, but don't feel like you are required to give anyone your attention. Always, always check motives because interactions can be deceiving, but their heart will sooner or later reveal the motive behind their actions. Someone can hug you, smile with you, laugh with you, and still wait in anticipation for your failure and bring you down in whatever conversation they can. Consider everything. Why did they ask you that question? Why did they lie? And if your intuition is trying to tell you something isn't right, then that's all you need to know to move on. If for some reason your paths cross, always strive to be nice because life is too short for anything less, but don't give up your precious time to someone like that. Now you're aware of their motives and if for any reason they try doing that to an

July 2019 You can't please everyone, I repeat: you cannot please everyone. Even if it's the best decision for yourself, someone could be offended, and you may never know. You might get some success and for some reason they can't handle you shining that brightly. Or other times, you fail, and they're strangely happy about it, but they try hard not to show it. Don't allow their negativity from outside of you to seep in and affect you from within. People will be people. There will be really awesome and kind people and vice versa. A lot of what people do is motivated from a place deep within themselves. Their behavior is displaying a part of their deepest self, and that has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. You cannot control other people's behavior, but you can choose how to respond. When in doubt, choose the narrow gate that leads to life. Choose the way that frees you from the negativity that is thrown your way, and free you'll be, ind

July 2019 In life, we constantly shift from two perspectives, an optimistic one and a pessimistic one. A positive mindset and a negative one. You don't need to think negatively in order to stop thinking negatively. Actually having a positive mindset will do that for you. So trying to point out the negativity in others or in yourself you might think might help others, but I would argue that it's not as helpful as uplifting that person in the same amount of time.  The time you spend pointing out the negative energy, you could've spent that same time talking about the other side of the coin and encouraging that behavior. When we dwell on mistakes in the past, it pulls us into the past and allows that negativity to affect us. Either creating remorse, pain, regret etc. Those times are best with God because we find complete and absolute forgiveness. But since time is already so short and our interactions are limited, we should strive to flood others with positivity, which has the

July 2019 Vidcon has been an answer to prayer. I realized that my passivity to chasing my dreams and not setting goals is killing my opportunities in the future. I can't wait for things to fall in my lap, I have to work my lil toosh off day in and day out. Hearing these successful YouTubers made me realize they literally put it all on the line. They strived for perfection. They set ambitious goals and they achieved them. They never stopped, even when it got hard. I complained about the time spent to shoot, edit and publish taking 6-8 hours when they're putting in whole days of just shooting and multiple days of editing. I realized how much I've underperformed in that area during the summer. I know during the semester that's another story, but this summer is a gift to do just that. To finally put those 50 hours into YouTube and treat it as my future. To hit those milestones and to not care what other people think. Just like with any job, any career, there are definite g

June 30th 2019 I am a visionary. I do this thing where I see myself from a futuristic perspective. I see myself at a place where I intend to be, where I know I'll be if I work hard, and then it's almost like my current self gets restless and starts to work toward it. Normally I'd be all gung-ho about it, but the thing is, is I have to recover from my surgery. I have to rest in bed. I have to get better. I have to heal and now is not the time to be entertaining the masses, marketing myself, and yet it's almost like my body is on autopilot. It only sees the goal at the present, and it's catching up to get to that spot. When I want something, it affects everything I do, and honestly I just need to calm myself down and focus on recovering, but it's so hard. It's like trying to force yourself to walk when all you want to do is sprint. Or forcing yourself to eat broccoli as you watch everyone else around you eat Ben and Jerry's half-baked ice cream. It is not

To be honest, before my boyfriend brought up Orthodoxy I didn't really know what it was, nor did I care what it was and therefore never researched to understand more about it. For all I know my Greek Yiayia (Grandma) and her family were Greek Orthodox until her mother decided to leave and attend a Foursquare church (she was 12 years old at the time). Then eventually she received an honorary pastor recognition at the Foursquare church she continued to attend. Growing up, my Yiayia was your typical Greek Yiayia. She lived in a room downstairs, she spoke Greek, she sang beautiful songs downstairs, and she really knew how to eat... A lot. And she really liked her white wine! Not only that, but she was the funniest Yiayia I ever knew. When the whole vine stuff happened she stole the show on my vine multiple times and by the time of her death, many reached out in the comments sharing how much she meant to them, and that was beautiful. She lived a long, healthy life with the Lord and is

This week, I had a major wake-up call. For so much of my actual acting career, I've been incredibly passive. Some of it issue to laziness, some due to a busy schedule, some of it due to insecurities of my peers judging me. However, being around people who are all motivated and motivating me to do what I want to do has completely revolutionized my motivation to achiever what I set out to achieve. For some reason, I was afraid to set goals. Afraid to be judged by society for setting those goals and achieving them. Not anymore. I have goals, I have ways to achieve them, and I will manifest them through the power of God.