Exploring Life

Entry 174 - Lesson on Feeling the Inner Body    12/31/19   About 10 weeks ago, I took an online class called Conscious Manifestation with Eckhart Tolle. I came across a concept I've heard before, but I never really explored consciously until recently. Maybe in worship at church I've felt tingles all over my body or maybe when I felt very alive I've felt tingly all over, but it was a phenomenon I wasn't trying to be aware of, it just happened.  Eckhart talks about a certain type of meditation called inner body meditation, and it focuses on being aware of your body and sensing it. It's very interesting. It requires one to be very conscious of the present moment, their bodies and how it feels and helps you in situations to stay grounded, present and aware. I grabbed a few comments from the course where people shared on how they were able to "feel the inner body" and hopefully it helps others become more aware of this phenomenon. By feeling your inner body, th...

12/30/19 Most people filter the world through the lens of their belief system, ideologies, perceptions, cultures, traditions, and thoughts that they've grown to acquire throughout the years.  So what that means is you potentially are judging people not by how you see them, but through whatever lens you have placed in front of your eyes to see through, and some of those lenses you might be using, are making your eyesight even worse. It's as if your original eyesight is 20/20, but then someone tries to convince you to wear glasses for bad vision that you don't have. Then with those glasses, you're looking at someone and seeing the evil. You're looking at someone and seeing the disgust. You're looking at someone and hating who they are. If only you took off the lenses, and you saw them for who they truly are and let yourself be who you truly are and entered that state of being, you would see their reality and yours are the same. So then, if we strip ourselves of ou...

"Jesus and His disciples were products of unceasing meditation and intuitive devotion, and not merely results of intellectual theological seminaries. Most Christian churches today have wandered away from the path of self-realization and are satisfied with sermons, ceremonies, organizations, and festivities. The complete revival and restoration of Christian churches can be effected only by discarding the oft-repeated theoretical sermons and too- frequently changing psycho-physical ceremonies, and replacing them with added concentration during church services on the part members; - they should concentrate more and more on perfect stillness in both the physical and mental realms. For stillness and peace are the real temples wherein God most often visits His devotees."                      - Anonymous 

Entry 170 - The Subjective vs Objective Aspect in Life 12/29/19 In this post, I really want to go over these two ideas. Now in the Webster dictionary, these two words are defined as such: Definition of Subjective: 1) Characteristic of or belonging to reality as perceived rather than as independent of mind. 2) Relating to or being experience or knowledge as conditioned by personal mental characteristics or states. 3) Peculiar to a particular individual. 4) Modified or affected by personal views, experience, or background. An example of this would be how you perceive the past presidents of the United States. Maybe you hated one president, or maybe you adored another. Another example is your personal journey with finding God. Subjective experiences are basically your perception governed by the knowledge you've attained throughout the years and the experiences you've gone through that cause you to think about things in a certain way. Definition of Objective: 1) Expressing or dealin...

12/27/19 "A proper exposition of Zen should 'tease us out of thought;, and leave the mind lie an open window instead of a panel of stained glass." Few of us have ever met an angel, and probably would not recognize it if we saw one, and our images of an impersonal or supra-personal God are hopelessly subhuman—jello, featureless light, homogenized space, or a whopping jolt of electricity. No work or love will flourish out of guilt, fear, or hollowness of heart, just as no valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now." We seldom realize, for example, that our most private thoughts and emotions are not actually our own. For we think in terms of languages and images which we did not invent, but which were given to us by our society."       - Alan Watts

12/27/19 All my life I've asked the question: How do we know if the thoughts that come to us are from us, God or the devil?  And finally I've found a system to bring that to light. When a thought comes, it's crucial to become the awareness behind it in order to be able to test the thought. Then, you must inquire where that thought comes from.  Question its answer, then once again, question that answer, then once it comes, question that answer. Continue to question until you unveil the answerer of your question. All things are manifest in the light. If it is from the ego, it will be manifest. If it is from within and Sourced in God, it will be manifest. Do not fret, use the process.

"Concerning matter, we have been all wrong. What we have called matter is energy, whose vibration has been so lowered as to be perceptible to the senses. There is no matter." ~ Albert Einstein "If you want to find the secrets of the Universe, think in terms of energy, frequency, and vibration."       ~ Nikola Tesla "The search for truth is more precious than its possession."      ~ Albert Einstein "I believe in intuition and inspiration. At times I feel certain I am right while not knowing the reason. Don’t listen to the person who has the answers; listen to the person who has the questions."    ~ Albert Einstein  "No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it."     ~ Eckhart Tolle

12//27/19 "The dream 'analogy' is actually much more powerful than one might think. As above, so below. As below, so above. This Law of Correspondence is derived from the wisdom of the Emerald Tablet of Hermes Trismegistus, and is a Key that can unlock all the mysteries of life, including those of God and YOU. What it means is that a Law that is true in one level or realm of consciousness is true in ALL levels within, below and above it. The only difference Is the appearances and movements of the causes and effects. This Law allows us to take knowledge gained in one realm and use it to understand truth in other worlds less known or experienced. To apply it to this particular conversation, we can use an absolute truth of the dream world to help us better understand the waking world. Consider what you should do to best influence a dream if you became lucid within it and were able to sustain the lucidity. Being lucid you would recognize that the reality of the world you were ...

12/27/19 I was contemplating the different perspectives in the Bible, the different ways each author says 'salvation' comes through. Whether by actions, by faith, by working and how their perception is framed within each denomination in Christianity.  How some denominations (Catholic) take certain verses to express how one is saved while another denomination (Baptists) says it is a different way by emphasizing different verses, and how they all make sense in the grand scheme of life. Then I thought, well Peter talks about trials, problems, and so on but then Eckhart Tolle talks about the only problems we have are the problems we personally create.  So who is right? Are they both right? If they're both built off of personal experience, then can they both be different and both be right? Can you have one mentality and be okay and also have another mentality and be alright? It's not wrong to see yourself as the victim and accept Peter's words as facts, but why would I d...

While looking off into the mountains in silence and in prayer to God, a question was proposed: How would my life be different if I shifted everything in my life to be filled with passionate, vulnerable, and deep love in everything I say and do? At that moment, I realized God speaks in the silence everything we need to know, we just have to be willing to listen and courageous enough to take the advice He gives. So I plan to shift everything I say and do to be filled with a deep, passionate and caring love for all mankind and nature, regardless of any circumstance. I don't want to get in the way of its beautiful transformations, but instead be a part of the movement of Love on this Earth.  Therefore, I welcome all love from the Most High God and pray that I can bless everyone and everything I'm in contact with, with this amazing Love. 

12/26/19 Biggest lie purported by religion: My God is for me and against them, so whatever heinous act of violence and murder we do against our enemies in the name of God is fully justified. The truth of the matter is that God is for everyone. He is not simply their God or my God, He is everyone's God and is on everyone's side. People must stop this divisive mentality by seeing people as their enemy because they follow a different religion, or they're a different ethnicity, or they have different values. We all must stop justifying atrocities by labelling others as God's enemy.  The Lord our God is one. He is not divisive, He loves everyone and desires all men to be saved and none to perish. Whatever narrative people create to justify killing, hurting, abusing other human beings will one day backfire onto them and their actions will be judged by the truth. 

12/26/19 "Using mindfulness, he said, “I taught him to simply note to himself (silently or aloud) each body sensation that came along with a craving. We used the analogy of surfing: My patient’s cravings were like waves, and he could use this ‘noting practice’ as a surfboard to help him get on the wave and ride it until it was gone.” To break a bad habit, its important to understand your addiction-craving cycle, turn toward (instead of away from) the cravings and understand them, and to be aware of your true feelings. When you notice your craving and refuse to give in to it, the behaviour changes and the cravings decrease. According to Brewer, if you are not aware that you are doing something habitually, you will continue to do it consistently. If you’ve driven the same road a thousand times, it becomes pretty habitual, he adds. “Building awareness through mindfulness helps us “pop the hood” on what’s going on in our old brain. We can learn to recognize our habit loops while they’...

12/26/19 The secret is surrender and being in the present moment. You can heal, you will heal. You will free yourself when you stop trying to resist, and when you simply just be. Because those thoughts are not your thoughts. Thoughts come and thoughts go. But you do not have to be a slave to the thoughts that come and go. Just as they come, you may allow them to be released. Or when they come, you can wear those thoughts as your identity and allow it to create an ego to be manifested. You are in control of what, so choose-wisely.

12/26/19 The way life fluctuates is often random. If you don't plan out ahead a time and battle for that time to be spent a certain way, life will throw other people and things to fill that time with. You have to fight to use your time the way you want to use it. If you allow procrastination to take the lead, you will live a life that represents procrastination.

Here's the thing. I'm just doing me. I'm doing what makes sense, what comes naturally, what feels right. I feel no need to explain myself, to label myself. I just do what I do. I do, and I be and that should be enough for you. If you want to call me a Christian, okay that's great. You want to call me a computer science student, alright sure.  Heck, if you want to call me a tractor, that's fine because no matter what label you try to stick onto me, it doesn't affect me in the slightest because I know who I am. To some they need to have labels to feel special, important or to fit in with a group. But some of us don't need it. We just want to be.  Labelling isn't bad in itself, but through it, people can use labels to judge someone. Either she's with us or she's not. She's this and we're not. Wow, look at how horrible she is for being a *fill in the blank here.* It's easy to judge when you have labels, but without them, where does that l...

I embraced suffering and unhappiness for love and acceptance and if I could go back in time and find younger Ky, I'd walk through that door, slap her face, tell her to wake up, that she has only one life, and she's wasting it doing what everyone else wants her to do, and to start living in such a way that brings her happiness. Then I'd zap myself back to the present and pray to God she took my advice. Obviously that is not possible, but starting now with trying to be authentically me is much better than starting ten years from now, and luckily I'm fully aware of my mistake and have no desire to ever go back to that type of living. I write all this because it's a part of that freeing process and being authentic with who I truly am. I know I still have ways to go, but at least I'm living more of my life the way I wish to live, and I want my friends and family who are around me and care about me to know I am so much happier doing so.

12/26/19 "If a piece of steel or a piece of salt, consisting of atoms one next to the other, can have such interesting properties; if water—which is nothing but these little blobs, mile upon mile of the same thing over the earth—can form waves and foam, and make rushing noises and strange patterns as it runs over cement; if all of this, all the life of a stream of water, can be nothing but a pile of atoms,  how much more is possible ? If instead of arranging the atoms in some definite pattern, again and again repeated, on and on, or even forming little lumps of complexity like the odor of violets, we make an arrangement which is  always different  from place to place, with different kinds of atoms arranged in many ways, continually changing, not repeating, how much more marvelously is it possible that this thing might behave?  Is it possible that that “thing” walking back and forth in front of you, talking to you, is a great glob of these atoms in a very complex arra...

12/26/19 "'A king who has conquered all the surrounding countries sighs because he has no more worlds to subdue. Kai Kâus, after having conquered many countries, aspired to be a king in heaven, and was punished for his presumption by a dreadful fall, which made him sensible of his folly. 'So you see, O Ardâ-Virâf! that content is the happiest condition of man and the most pleasing to the Creator: and treasure the advice I have given you; and as you return to the lower world, inculcate these precepts, and abide by the laws and walk in the way of truth and holiness, and continue in the worship of the true God.'"                                         - Zoroastrianism Scriptures

12/25/19 A friend I haven't seen in a while dmed me and said she felt like I was different now, and she didn't know exactly how, but it just seemed like I was more free, and I honestly couldn't have agreed more. Some might have seen a significant shift from before and after my surgery, and I could understand why. Before surgery, I lived a life that made me fit in, that made people not ask questions. I was predictable, doing what other people were doing, not what I wanted to do. Looking, acting, saying what others expected me to say at the expense of my own preferences. From 8th grade to my first two years of college, I did the best acting performance of my life because I pretended to be someone I wasn't. I hid the parts of me that were always there but that I was too scared to express in real life in case people would bully or judge me.  I sadly lived a life that I felt would keep me out of judgment from my peers that I so badly needed approval from. I lived my life to ...

12/24/19 Because of this journey I'm on, I've recognized that people who are not open, who are not willing to be challenged, who find differing views as threatening, are those who I grow more apart from in the most natural way. Quantum theory tells us the observer and the observed are the same. Your world without is a reflection of your world within. What is within you begins to be mirrored in the world without. Because of this, if you continue to grow, challenge yourself, elevate, there will be people who are not willing to do the same, and they'll be left behind on your journey.  It's not that your journey or their journey is better, it's just different paths, different roads. Some people desire comfort over challenge. Some people prefer the mental conditioning they've grown up with that they have no desire to challenge it.  Some people consider it taboo to question everything. So even if you try to, there is no response because they either can...

12/24/19 There are many that are entranced by religion that they instantly get triggered when they don't hear God in every sentence.  But the reality is, if you were really aware of God's Presence, you would realize there is no sentence without God.  There is no reality without God.  There is no moment without God because God is everywhere, in all, through all, the Great I Am, quite literally the Being.  He is right here, right now. 

12/24/19 When it comes to salvation, I tend to believe similarly to the Church Fathers listed below: "The main Patristic supporters of the apokatastasis theory, such as Bardaisan, Clement, Origin, Didymus, St. Anthony, St. Pamphilus Martyr, Methodius, St. Macrina, St. Gregory of Nyssa (and probably the two other Cappadocians), St. Evagrius Ponticus, Diodore of Tarsus, Theodore of Mopsuestia, St. John of Jerusalem, Rufinus, St. Jerome and St. Augustine (at least initially) … Cassian, St. Issac of Nineveh, St. John of Dalyatha, Ps. Dionysius the Areopagite, probably St. Maximus the Confessor, up to John the Scot Eriugena, and many others, grounded their Christian doctrine of apokatastasis first of all in the Bible."                              - Ramelli,  Christian Doctrine , 11. Here is the way I look at Salvation and reward/punishment. I see Salvation as a gift, undeserving and free, and our deeds reaping e...

12/22/19 I'm not impressed by what religion you're in. I'm impressed if you can control yourself in differing circumstances with a peace of mind that surpasses all understanding. Just because you're a Christian doesn't make you a master of thyself.  God is the foundation, but so many people confuse God's presence with religion's essence.

12/20/19 "When you understand there will be no cause for anxiety; you will know, because in the first place you will never want or expect anyone to do anything except what is best for them; you will understand that every transaction must benefit both parties.  When you understand these laws, when the principles become a vital part of your life, when they are involved in your mental attitude, you will have found the Master Key and all doors will be open to you, because you will understand that every event, every condition, every thing was first an idea, and that just to the extent that you grew quiet, and focussed your attention on that idea, stilling all the activities of the mind, and eliminating all other thoughts from your consciousness, will the various phases and possibilities of the idea develop;  and just in accordance with the definiteness with which you picture that idea, and the extent with which the idea takes possession of you will the creative power do its work, a...

12/18/19 As the fire goes So does my soul As the wind blows I rise from below As the sun intensifies it's heat  I only feel more purified and complete  As the rain pours  I begin to soar The elements of nature are not meant to bring us down But meant to firmly establish our crowns They hand us challenges they know we need Even if each challenge makes us bleed Through them we become guardians of a better life In order to help others end all strife To rise above the illusions of one's mind And give the purest of sight to the blind So that we all may realize the oneness in all By becoming the answer to God's call

12/18/19  Someone once told me people can only process up to 50 bits per second of information, and that the brain naturally forgets what it deems as unimportant. So that's why oftentimes, if people bring any new knowledge that is either foreign to them, that could tear down the identity they created through things outside of themselves, or threatens the concept they created of themselves, even if it's completely positive and helpful in some way, the brain will reject the knowledge, and it will no longer be remembered. This is strange but also very intriguing to know that our brain is preconditioned to trust and desire certain outcomes and deem others as unimportant and not necessary. However, when one can leave the mindset of us vs them , or the knowledge of our religion is better than the knowledge of your religion , and step into a higher plane of reality, then one experiences freedom of living life in a way they perhaps have never imagined before.  This new plane of living...

12/18/19 A universe without a God is like a world without air. It not only doesn't make any sense, it logically cannot work. How can a design be without a designer? How can effect be without a cause?  How can a process that needs to be precise to the millionth degree be safeguarded by chaos?  How can a law filled universe be subject to no laws? That would contradict the very nature of the universe. There is a Creator and there is the created.  One is independent, one is dependent. One is beyond all forms, while the other is trapped by form. One has no beginning, no ending, and one has a beginning and an ending. In religion, there is a human construct and a spiritual construct. The human construct is a mental abstraction of thought and therefore must be defended.  The spiritual construct of religion is a subjective experience between man and God and is more real than any visible form. God's presence is the essence of reality. To be present and aware is to tap into thi...

12/18/19 "The perfect man employs his mind as a mirror; it grasps nothing; it refuses nothing; it receives, but does not keep."                - Chuang-Tzu

12/18/19 Years ago I did not understand because I was highly unconscious. I was always a Christian, but I never felt fulfilled. I kept on trying to find my identity, happiness, purpose outside of me rather than within.  Even with my relationship with God, I felt like I needed to identify with a Christian group that was serious about what they sought after, but felt like I couldn't find one.  I didn't know exactly what I was looking for, but I just knew I wanted to fill that gaping hole of emptiness with a religious group that would help define me and help increase my relationship with God... That was my first mistake... Trying to find something outside of me to fill these perceived holes.  Secondly, trying to have an outside group define my relationship with God was another issue. I was failing to see everything needed to be found within. I needed to work on being connected with Being. To enter into God's presence, which is in the present.  That the way to enlightenm...

12/18/19 Sometimes life is not about getting what you want, but about being an angel for someone else who is in need of one. I can tell you it feels much more like a blessing when I give than when I receive because when I give, I'm allowing God to move through the giving and I feel the power of God at that moment, and feeling God at that moment is everything to me. I can't explain it. All I can say is that our job is not just to live our life the best way possible. That's definitely a part, but not the whole. Whenever we're giving an opportunity, whenever God speaks, we listen, and we act in accordance to how he speaks and when he speaks, you feel it everywhere. Be someone's angel today. You never know how it might change their lives, and yours at the same time.

12/18/19 So much is twisted by the collective ego (sinful nature) If you don't ever party, the ego tries to convince you that you're missing out. If you're a virgin, it lies to you and says that is because you can't get some. If you question everything, you're seen as bad. If you just listen and obey the lifestyle you were grown into, then you are accepted and applauded.  If you rebel, you are dismissed and your family and friends might disown you. When you don't act in accordance with how people want you to act, even when your actions make you happy, and they benefit all mankind, you still make men angry at you. Perhaps there's more, but if you notice anything, it's this: Where you push, the ego will try to pull. Where you try to break free from unconsciousness, the ego will try to pull you back into unconsciousness.  The collective ego will try to convince you that you're evil for questioning your preconditioned programming up until this point of l...

12/18/19 Before mindfulness: We want what we can't have We try to find our happiness in people and things We judge ourselves by what people think of us We treat others how it would benefit us After mindfulness: We're content with what we have We find our happiness within  We judge ourselves by how God sees us We treat others in a way that benefits everyone

12/12/19 The secret to loving everybody genuinely is to see yourself within everyone. Then you don't feel burdened to love, but blessed to love. You naturally love them deeply because you see them just as much a part of you as your own hands and feet. Where one begins and the other ends, no one knows. Instead, we simply watch the river of love flow.✨🌊

12/10/19 "(The Tao) produces (all things) and nourishes them; it produces them and does not claim them as its own; it does all, and yet does not boast of it; it presides over all, and yet does not control them. This is what is called 'The mysterious Quality' (of the Tao) Its upper part is not bright, and its lower part is not obscure. Ceaseless in its action, it yet cannot be named, and then it again returns and becomes nothing. This is called the Form of the Formless, and the Semblance of the Invisible; this is called the Fleeting and Indeterminable. We meet it and do not see its Front; we follow it, and do not see its Back. When we can lay hold of the Tao of old to direct the things of the present day, and are able to know it as it was of old in the beginning, this is called (unwinding) the clue of Tao."      - Tao Te Ching 

12/9/19 Look into you, and you'll discover another Universe with no end and no beginning. A Universe living in a Universe. Each person has their own form and identity, but they also have something beyond that.  Something deeper, something stronger, something beyond what the eye can make sense of. Within each person are the mysteries of a new world, new ideas, new tastes, new perspectives, new outlook.  When one looks within, they realize their reality is beautifully unique, but strangely familiar. They can't make sense of it, yet they feel the truth of that soul and recognize it for all its glory.  Beyond words, beyond thoughts, there lies a connection between that manifested human and the unmanifested Source. Where one starts and the other begins, who truly knows, but the connection exists in all.  When one finds that, they find the oneness we all share. The oneness, deeper than the deepest roots. The oneness, stronger than the strongest chains. The oneness that one...

12/9/19 "Zen does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes."                                              -Watts It's one thing to think about hanging out with your friend, but it's a completely elevated experience to actually hang out and be fully in the present moment with them.  When you do this, you're no longer thinking about what it's like to do it, conceptualizing reality, because you're living it right at that moment and experiencing it first hand. Why would you daydream about hanging with your friend if she is right there in front of you?  Same thing with God. It's one thing to think about God, but it's another realm of spirituality to enter into His presence and be with Him. The secret of life is to tap into His presence every single moment so that wh...

12/3/19 They broke your record You've never fallen so hard so fast for a person before It wasn't even anything beyond a normal conversation between two humans But sometimes you look at someone and it hits you Their soul seems like a completely different Universe  But at the same time their soul seems strangely familiar  They're nothing you've met before but they're everything that feels comfortable and familiar  Their words nor their actions can witness for them because you don't know them But you don't need their words or actions because you experience through their presence the depth and beauty of their soul Then you realize once again Love isn't about possessing Love is about experiencing life with another soul Whether temporary or permanent it doesn't matter Because experiencing this new dimension of love just changed your life

12/3/19 Time is linear, but we also know that there exists multiple dimensions at the same time. Through quantum physics, we are aware that everything already exists, it's just a matter of it being "discovered" or waiting to be "revealed through thought".  Whatever one can think, they can either reveal something profound, such as a law, or manifest something into their life. It already exists, it just needs to be discovered or manifested.  For example, the law of gravity was already a fact before Sir Isaac Newton discovered the law. However, once he used his mind to find the existence of that law, we then recognized that law's existence.  We're in a world of constant discovery and creation. Whatever is out there already exists on a particular dimension, but based off of our thoughts, we can discover and create, or we can let someone else do that for us. Many times, people allow others to create a narrative for their own lives.  They let their parents cho...