Entry 2,257 - Entry 2,264
Entry 2,257 - August 23, 2024
Core Vibration vs Ego Vibration
The difference between core vibration and your ego vibration is that your core vibration is your unique digital energetic signature that existed before you were even given a particular body. This aspect serves as a guidepost, a signpost, or even a map toward every experience you intended to have as a human. The more you follow this roadmap, the more likely you are to reap everything you came here to experience. The more you stray from it, the more suffering will entail. It's still an experience, but there just happens to be more suffering.
Your ego vibration, on the other hand, is the culmination of who you are—your trauma, your shadows, your insecurities, and all that you have repressed and pushed down, which emits a particular frequency. This overall energetic signature correlates with Hawkins' Map of Consciousness.
Entry 2,258 - August 23, 2024
I remember reading J. Krishnamurti and hating his book because I couldn't "understand him." But his words weren't meant for us to understand—he's all about living. His books cultivate full presence. Do you see the tree and cry because it's beyond comprehension, or do you see the tree and then pull out your phone?
In the middle of one of my 10-day silent retreats, free from all technology, I stared at a tree for 15 minutes and was almost brought to my knees. I can't explain it, but that's what he goes for.
Entry 2,259 - August 23, 2024
Movie Insight
There is some powerful spiritual insight in the movies Everything Everywhere All At Once and Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness.
In the first one, the mother has to take the biggest risk that jeopardizes everything, but in the end, it is what is needed to save the entire multiverse. There is a pinnacle moment where she is told to either kill her daughter so that she will stop re-populating in that universe and cut off the connection or try to save her.
The mom chooses to save her. What people don’t often see is the inoculation phase when Jobu Tupaki introduces her mom to the shadow view of reality that “everything is meaningless.” This is how the shadow perceives reality.
It cannot comprehend unconditional love as the ultimate reality. It can only perceive things from its limited vantage point. The mother was about to fall for it, but what ended up pulling her out of it was the unconditional love from her husband. Her husband reminded her who she truly was, not what this shadow perception of reality was trying to feed her. You can see how this unconditional love created a domino effect.
The mother had it for her daughter, so she fully embraced her daughter's shadows, listened to her explain her worldview, and even took it on herself. Then her husband, through unconditional love, reminded her who she was and that life does have meaning.
Through her husband’s love, she found the strategy to pull her child out of the darkness: unconditional love! Each step toward her daughter, she used unconditional love as an unconventional "weapon" against darkness—which is already hilariously ironic because love could never truly be a weapon in the first place.
With Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, it reminds me of Jesus' time depicted as 40 days and 40 nights in the wilderness battling "the devil," which, in my opinion, was really just his shadow self—all the trauma, repression, and darkness that lay dormant within him, wanting to live through him to accomplish its own superior motives.
Doctor Strange knew the only way to deal with the darkness of the Scarlet Witch was to beat her at her own game—essentially using the power that had corrupted her in order to save the entire universe. He found a version of himself and dream-walked into it to save everyone.
This shows how he had to come face to face with his own darkness and decide how he was going to use it. Was he going to use it to allow the destruction of himself and others? Or was he going to use it to free people from the destruction caused by unconsciously wielded darkness?
Entry 2,260 - August 24, 2024
I had a realization while reading A Course in Miracles, in the section The Ego-Body Illusion on page 65. It says, "Thoughts of God are unacceptable to the ego because they clearly point to the nonexistence of the ego itself."
When I was thinking about that, I received a major revelation about the ego. I was trying to see how the ego could not exist, and then I realized that the ego is part of the thoughts of men, and we are part of the thoughts of God. It turns out the thoughts of man create the ego within the realm of memory, and since the realm of memory is not total reality, it is not us in our entirety.
In our entirety, we have all the same attributes as God, as All That Is, as reality—but within a particular realm of reality, an offshoot of some sort, there are the thoughts of man, which are our own personal creations that have a beginning and an ending. Within that is where the ego lives. One could say that the ego does live there indefinitely as a memory that can be called upon, but it does not exist in the same sense as All That Is, Reality, God, or The Eye. It is "within the context" as David R. Hawkins would say.
This also brought another realization: many Christians believe that God created the ego and that we will be the ego forever. This is a common misinterpretation of how God created us. People think that God created the ego when, in actuality, we made the ego. God created us as He is—in eternity, in All That Is. He did not create the ego to be eternal.
So a lot of Christians believe that they, as the ego, will continue on forever, but that's not the truth of reality. Yes, the memory of their ego will remain within a particular realm that can be accessed and observed, but in ultimate reality, as God created them, they are as God is.
God cannot create anything beyond Himself and His characteristics, or else it wouldn’t be from God.
Entry 2,261 - August 25, 2024
Realization
Incorporating A Course in Miracles into your life doesn’t mean you become a people-pleasing pushover. You can still have responsible boundaries set for others' egos while still seeing them as they truly are—not as their egos, but as holy brothers, one with you and God.
Entry 2,262 - August 30, 2024
ACIM Realizations
What I find rather interesting is the difference between the Fundamental Christian thought system around salvation versus A Course in Miracles thought system around salvation.
In Fundamental Christianity, it is your belief in Jesus that saves you.
In A Course in Miracles, it is your forgiveness that saves you.
In Fundamental Christianity, your forgiveness is not good enough for yourself or for others, so you never truly learn total responsibility when it comes to complete forgiveness. Therefore, you never fully understand the depth of forgiveness itself and how it leads to salvation.
Forgiveness is seen as unreachable from our end, so we are constantly begging God to help us forgive others and asking Jesus to forgive us. This becomes a repetitive cycle as we find it hard to forgive rather than joyous to forgive—based on never escaping the binary belief system that forgiveness involves someone who is right and someone who is wrong.
In A Course in Miracles, you learn to take complete responsibility for everything you’ve believed in, said, and done. It teaches you how to heal binary thought systems around forgiveness, yourself, and others, and how to re-perceive the world through a new lens—one that beautifies the act of forgiveness, completely transforming it positively in your mind. It is no longer an encumbrance to forgive but wholly joyous and exciting to do so. Every time you forgive, you heal the pain, separation, and fear embedded by the ego.
Entry 2,263 - August 30, 2024
ACIM Realization
I had a realization while reading Chapter 6 in A Course in Miracles, specifically The Alternative to Projection:
"God created His Sons by extending His Thought, and retaining the extensions of His Thought in His Mind."
I remember hearing from so many meditation teachers that we are not our thoughts, and that made sense to me. But this goes a little deeper. It touches on how God has thoughts, which must mean the ego also has thoughts.
So I think an even more reality-driven way to perceive thoughts is that we are not our ego’s thoughts. If the ego is a symbol of separation, and the word God is a symbol for oneness, then in truth, we are God’s thoughts and are capable of both.
But in our journey toward total joy and peace, we will eventually reach a place where the Holy Spirit will renew all of our minds so that all we have are thoughts from God—who is a part of us, our truth, our reality. Then we will have ceased having thoughts of separation, which are not part of God, nor truth, nor ultimate reality.
Entry 2,264 - August 30, 2024
While reading the opening to David R. Hawkins’ book I: Reality and Subjectivity, I felt a lot of similarities when he was sharing his story before the prologue. A few days ago, I experienced the deepest feelings of joy, love, and peace enveloping my entire being—beyond all words, concepts, ideas, and thought systems.
No other experience comes close to that moment I had alone in my apartment while meditating. I stayed in that state for what felt like eternity, but in reality, it was only around 30 minutes. All time ceased to exist. Nothing could obstruct me from that total peace. The ego was gone. I don’t know where it went, but all the fears from the ego didn’t even come up while I was in that state. They didn’t even exist.
I was lost in infinite love, and who I was became known to me in that moment. To bring it forth, I wanted it more than anything else, and then I remembered who I was. While I was in that state, my whole body was vibrating with love. My body felt flexible and relaxed, and I had no soreness at all.
I was so relaxed that I wasn’t even sure where my body started and where it ended, because this peace was so open and infinite—I became one with it. Coming out of that state was terrible. The minute I got out of meditation, my body felt sore again. It felt tight, and little muscle twitches from prior workouts came back. I was so appalled at the difference. It made me want to jump right back into that state. I still don’t understand why I had to leave.
Why couldn’t I keep that? But then I realized that while being in that state, I was incapable of wanting to do anything else because that state was literally better than everything else. I could literally sit there for infinity and be fine. That’s how amazing it was.
So I understand what David R. Hawkins means when he says that a majority of people who live in that state lose all motivation for the world and end up not participating in it. There’s no reason to participate in the world once you live in such a blissful state—and you would know what I mean the minute you get a taste of it like I did!
There’s a part of me that is glad I am not permanently living in it because I fear that I would leave the world and go into seclusion just to be in that state instead of participating in life. But then, there is always that other part of me that yearns to live in it rather than living in my ego.
Once you’ve tasted it, nothing compares, and that’s something I’m going to have to live with for the rest of my life. I’ve tasted the divine elixir of unconditional love, and anything the world presents—besides love—will never compare, because love truly has no comparison.
But what did remain after being in that state are tingles all up and down my spine and in my head. I don’t know how to explain it, except maybe if you’ve ever experienced temporary tingles when you heard someone sing from their soul, not from their ego. But imagine them just kind of perpetually vibrating around your neck, the back of your head, and your third eye area—kind of like being in a hot tub, but it never gets old.
It feels good, and it just makes every moment more satisfying. There’s an underlying feeling of peace in every moment, with or without the tingles, but they simply make the peace more noticeable. In a funny way, it’s kind of like that one dude who gets a tattoo of a special experience he had, and whenever he looks at it, he’s reminded of that experience.
Similarly, I feel like the tingles are my little tattoo. And instead of seeing it, since I’m constantly feeling it, I’m reminded of that peace that is always here and has never left. Though it may be “softer” in experience, it will always remain.
I remember back in 2020, for some reason, I could only feel tingles on one side of my body, up and down it. I believe it was the right side. No matter how much release I experienced, I still couldn’t feel it everywhere, and the strength of them was nothing compared to the experience I had a few days ago.
Recently, about a couple of months ago, I tried two different ADHD medications for the first time, and it made me wonder if this intense peace was influenced by the ADHD medication. But even if it were, I’ve had this on and off for years. And even if it could influence it, if anything causes you to experience more peace, I think it is more so the belief that it can that still creates the shift—which still comes from myself.
So in reality, I am still the one who chooses it or not, regardless of what I put in my body. If we are truly part of God, then we have never left this peace, and it’s only a matter of what we give as permission slips that allows us to feel this peace within us that has always been there. In a funny way, we allow ourselves to feel what we truly are, and until then, we allow ourselves not to.
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