Entry 180 - The Journey from Chasing Emotion to Resting in Stillness

-
1/10/20

Growing up in my huge megachurch, so many of us chased good feelings during worship. People would be crying, on the floor shaking with the "Holy Spirit" and then there would be me... I felt like something was wrong with me because I wasn't being moved the same way as them emotionally, and because I wasn't having the same experiences that they were having. I felt left out. I felt confused.

Then years later I find other teachers who focus on the stillness, the present moment, the now, and I realize there is something even deeper. It's entering into being. A state that is always and already. Aligned and blissful and a connection with the eternal. It goes beyond longing, yearning. The state of being is the Reality of all. It's the moment of moments. It's where the Divine touches the mortal. The inward universe touches the outer universe. Where all is united as one. Once one enters into the state of being, no experience could ever compare. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Journal Discourse 84

-
March 17th 2023 Mean girls the movie may be the girl bible for the ladies, but rap is the only place where a man can be cocky and talk about pussy and somehow still keep his reputation. So many modern rap songs are trash. Remove the beats and keep the verses, and they sound like a broken percussion by a creep who makes poems about women’s private parts. When are they going to focus on women’s smarts, their hearts and their love in every fart??? – March 21st I got bored, so I started living my best life. – March 22nd White magic, new age, Kundalini, spirituality that stress one needs to be detached from emotions, which is completely contrary to why we came here, is super toxic. Any idea of transcending your emotions is also a denial of our humanity because we came here with an emotional body in order to feel every emotion, not just “the good ones….” Whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean. When you deny your emotions, you also deny yourself. You deny the reason why you came here– to e
Read more

Journal Discourse 81

-
February 5th 2023 The reason why nothing means anything until we give it meaning is because of this: In order to have something mean something, you need to have something that doesn’t mean something. In the act of splitting those two apart or existing separately, it creates duality.  If all that was before there was everything was love, then there is no meaning, just love. That’s why love doesn’t mean something because that would create duality. Love just is. To say it means something is to imply duality because in order for something to mean something, then something else must contrast it. Love is before what means or doesn’t mean anything. That which is, precedes labels, definitions, dualities and physical reality. It is the eternal. That which encapsulates and goes beyond. Love is the limitless infinite. The One that will never fail to be what it is. -- I thought I was asexual, but then I realized I only want the baddest bitch that exists. -- February 6th Many Christians think the w
Read more

Journal Discourse 83

-
March 2nd 2023 I was confused why i wasn’t like the others Why I preferred one over a thousand lovers One kiss for eternity over hook ups in beds Was I conditioned by church to stay a virgin or did I choose that out of my own internal provision? Was I programmed to detest sex or did I detest the idea of it being treated anything less than an act of divinity? Was I asexual or were my standards too high? What about sex keeps me a virgin? Is it God? The church? Or myself? A virgo in astrology might have foreshadowed the realization but if I don’t need it why make a big deal about it? If I feel the reason is not persuasive enough, why do it with another? and so I don’t. Does that make me anything? maybe it just makes me another human. Perhaps there is an undertone As I write this I feel it bubble to the surface I’ve always known I’m a hopeless romantic at heart Falling deeply for people in my dreams without an ounce of showing any of those feelings outwardly But it reaches deeper than that
Read more