Entry 49 - Peace is Stronger than Fear

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8/2/19

Something's changed within me and at times, if I don't take a step back and recognize the shift, I might not fully realize how huge this is. All my life, I've been incredibly afraid of spiders. Even though they're never as big as a full sized human being, I've been scared of all shapes and sizes, and I've allowed that fear to control me up until recently.

Today, my doctor told me she was surprised at how peaceful I've become that she could tell right off the bat something was very different from before. But one of those most shocking for me is the dissipation of my fear of spiders. Before, I couldn't even kill a spider without shuddering and maybe letting out a little scream. While moving, I removed around 15 spiders from my luggage and did not experience the same soul shattering fear when I did so.

This peace that I've been consciously aware of, which has always been in me, but I've just recently allowed it to be expressed at all times, has overcome my fear. Even though a spider might still look unsettling, I've recognized that their appearance or their potential to bite has no effect on me. The only one who chooses if it does or not is me, and from that moment onward I chose it had no power nor any right to take away my inner peace that governed my state of being.

Now I can handle the influence of a spider with a straight face and go on with my day. The power of consciousness, of awareness, of being present is so profound that with being as such, you can cultivate a new reaction that releases you from previous bondage in a split second. All you have to do is decide. Either you control your thoughts, or your thoughts control you, but again, it's your choice to choose which one you allow to become your reality.

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