Exploring Life

1/29/20 "There’s a mysterious grace that permeates everything. It’s not magic because it unfolds in a particular way, however. By “magic,” I’m referring to a sense of wonder and deep satisfaction—because life itself is so mysterious. It doesn’t unfold according to the way we think it should or even the way we want it to. If we can let go of the way we think it should be, then life starts to reveal its magical qualities. Essentially, we fall into grace. By that I mean that a certain mysterious quality reveals itself and cradles us within an intimacy with all of existence. This is something that many people are looking for without even knowing it. Almost everybody is looking for intimacy—a closeness, a sense of union with their own existence or with God, or whatever their concept of higher reality is. All this yearning actually comes from our longing for closeness, intimacy, and true union. Opening to things as they are is what it really means to be still, to be quiet, to be in a st...

1/28/20 Fear. The infamous creator of all things to do with pain, turmoil, torment and more. The emotion that elicits reactions we wish not to have. The criminal behind the evil and the one, if we let loose, will wreak havoc in parts of our lives that we try so desperately to protect. Ladies and gentlemen, please do not welcome fear. I would like to put together a little blueprint of how over the years, I've been able to move past fear and hopefully this will inspire many that they do not have to live with fear as their constant companion. The type of fear I'm going to address is the fear no one needs in their life. Where it has no evolutionary benefit, no added help to our lives and is sourced in irrationality and clings to past pain in order to stay alive and control the victim. This fear is the nasty fear. The one no sane person wants, yet it still decides to linger, almost like a spider on a wall that doesn't pay rent. I'm going to show you this fear, and you will...

1/27/20 Your interpretation of the truth is not the truth itself, remember that.

1/27/20 "If you became a person who could love unconditionally, everyone you love would flower before your very eyes. Every way you look would be light. That’s one of the fringe benefits of this method. It’s breathtaking. At every level." ~ Ram Dass

1/27/20 There's nothing more true than silence. You can debate differing doctrines, interpretations, perspectives all night long, but once you've both entered into silence, you've left the realm of "I'm right you're wrong" and instead have entered into truth itself.

1/27/20 If you're so eager to label me, then go ahead. Sometimes I quote Sufi poets, so you might feel a desire to call me a Sufi. Sometimes I quote from Zen teachers, so you may want to label me as a zen person. Sometimes I quote from Christians, so you may want to label me as Christian. The way you define or judge me is between you and you, it's none of my business. It does not add or take away from who I am, it simply shows me your personal perception of how you view the world and those within it. I repeat: Your definition of me is between you and you. It's none of my business.

1/27/20 Being a sibling or an only child isn't who you are in your essence. It may be a role you play while existing, but it doesn't fully define who you at your core... Similarly, God as our Father or God as our Shepherd does not describe Him entirely, but merely two of many roles He plays in relation to His creation. A word in itself is read by our mind and because our mind cannot fully grasp or comprehend God with words in our minds, there must be something beyond words. So there must be a dimension beyond time, beyond right and wrong, beyond us vs them. There must be a plane of oneness where all life touches the divinity of God and the divinity of God responds to its touch.

1/27/20 For the longest time, I was not okay with who I am. I fought myself, I resisted myself, I hated myself and because of that I suffered tremendously. Little did I know, the way for me to end my suffering was to accept myself fully for who I am. To be okay with the knowable and unknowable parts of who I am. T o be mystified by my existence and awed by others. To see myself in them and them in me. To let down all barriers, all judgments, all opinions, all projections, every thought that creates distance and separation from all, and to fully embrace this oneness by being accepting of all that I am in my entirety. Being at peace to welcome this wholeness and love of myself was the catalyst to love and embrace all of creation. I'm not talking about loving and accepting the right and wrong in my life, but a dimension beyond duality. I'm talking about going one step further into the now, to the very nature of who I am, my existence. Loving the person that God loves dearly. M...

1/27/20 There are four viewpoints of what constitutes our salvation: 1. The first one is based on our thoughts: believing 2. The second is based on our words: saying 3. The third is based on our actions: doing 3. And the last one is based on our essence: being Inquiry regarding some of these viewpoints: If God saved us through belief , which is built up through thoughts, and at one moment everyone at one point or another thought God was real, and Jesus Christ is Lord, then doesn't that mean everyone who once thought that will be saved? If God saved us by what we say or through our actions , then that would mean our salvation is dependent on us and conditional on our own actions, not on God. So then if you do good things once in your life, does that not mean you will be saved? If God saves not based on what you think, say or do, but based on who you are , then that would mean irrespective of all outward forms, you're inwardly already saved based off of simply the connection yo...

1/27/20 The idea of water is not the reality of water. I can think about water, but that's not the same as drinking the water. One is a thought about water, the other is an experience of water. Same with God. The idea of God is not the reality of God. I can think of God, but that's not the same as experiencing God. I can read about God, but that's not the same as being with God. There's a fundamental difference between thinking and being, and understanding that difference is the beginning of wisdom.

1/27/20 I don't owe anyone an explanation I will gladly keep them guessing Because my existence can't be boxed in Labels cannot properly express who I am The mind can't full fathom that So why would I sell myself short by slapping a label on me? What's wrong with just living truthfully? What's wrong with just being authentic?

1/27/20 People are fighting invisible battles That you have no clue about. So while you judge them remember You're not making it any easier for them. But what if you switched out your judgement for love? How would that help them? How would that help yourself?

1/27/20 We look up at the stars on a clear night and say, "Oh, how beautiful." But when was the last time we looked at the space between the stars and thought "Oh how vast". All your thoughts, experiences, moments, memories are like the stars in the sky. Then who you are is the space between those stars. I used to think my thinking was right and everyone else who didn't think like me was wrong. Then I transcended to another level and I never want to go back to that close minded view of life

1/27/20 I am being authentic with who I am and who I like. My thoughts have become words and my words have become actions. I'm no longer scared of this part of me that I've always been. Even though I still don't understand it Even though I'm still exploring and learning about myself. I'm fully embracing every inch of who I am. I'm at peace with what I can't change, and I'm at peace with what I can. Cheers to a new year, and the real me.

1/27/20 Time will tell And what's meant to be will be And what isn't will diverge I just keep moving forward I don't stop I can't stop I won't stop It's too late to turn back I'm already being real with who I am It's only forward from here Still trying to understand love Still trying to figure out who deserves it all Still trying to understand why I can't force myself to love one and not the other It's almost like we get the cards But love is the dealer We work with what we've been given But love chooses who wins So really our love is beyond our choice Just like luck is beyond our skill Maybe that's the one benefit of time It helps us release the one that love chooses And when we move on from past lovers We move to the next game of cards New cards same dealer Love will deal And we will play The secret is love knows the cards it gives We're only aware of the cards dealt to our hand But in the end love wins Love always wins Because love...

1/27/20 All masks off and on the real I feel like I'm finally finding myself I'm learning about me I'm realizing my true strengths and my true weaknesses I'm learning I'm a lot cooler than I thought I was I'm a lot more romantic than I thought I was

1/27/20 I've written my authenticity in the stars Left with no other choice but to take off my mask Because now people see my mask for what it is Not me, not real, not anything. Deep down I thought people needed my mask to feel comfortable Then I realized people need my authenticity more To help them remove their own masks A step into authenticity is a step into reality Accepting who you are is the first step into helping others be true to who they are Now my truth cannot be hidden It shines brightly before all

1/27/20 Something I'm thinking more and more about: The interconnectedness between me and everybody else... How my reality might not be everyone's but everyone is experiencing a reality that is somehow interconnected to mine even though I don't know them... Trippy

1/27/20 I finally realized the only one stopping me from being authentic was this shadow self called the ego. It isn't truly me. It's responsible for all the masks, all the illusions, all the confusion, and it daily tries to suck me back in. When you realize life is too short to be anything but yourself, you start living differently. I dug a hole of authenticity so that there would no way for me to go back to all those masks I used to put on. If my authenticity makes you uncomfortable, then do both of us a favor, stop following me.

1/27/20 I'm not fond of labels, but rather fond of simply being. It's a perspective shift between our relationship with doing and being. There's a point in your life where you stop looking outside of yourself to define who you are and instead, you decide to go deep within and realize the truth of who you've always been.

1/27/20 When it hits, and you pop off, you have to have enough self-respect for yourself to turn away fake friends from entering your inner circle because if you don't, they will hurt you. If your "close friend" drops out of your life and magically reappears when you pop off without ever reaching out to you before that, that's an easy sign that they don't actually care about you, they just care about your status. This in my opinion is one of the worst cons of clout, or whatever you want to call it. I don't care about the people who I'm not very close to, I'm talking about the people you let into your inner circle and trusted them to be there for you, and then they leave you cold turkey, don't ask how you're doing, ghost watch your stories from a distance, then they try to come back as if they never left you on read. Before when I was younger and the vine thing popped off I was completely oblivious that so many people I mistakenly let into my in...

1/27/20 You want to touch where time stops? Go inside and enter the stillness that calls your name from within. Let it pull you under. Let it take you by its hand. Let it teach you it's ways. Then, when you're ready, it'll release you back into the wild.

1/27/20 "Unconditional love really exists in each of us. It is part of our deep inner being. It is not so much an active emotion as a state of being. It’s not “I love you” for this or that reason, not “I love you if you love me.” It’s love for no reason, love without an object. It’s just sitting in love, a love that incorporates the chair and the room and permeates everything around. The thinking mind is extinguished in love. If I go into the place in myself that is love and you go into the place in yourself that is love, we are together in love. Then you and I are truly in love, the state of being love. That’s the entrance to Oneness." ~ Ram Dass

1/10/20 When I look at nature, I see a relationship beyond words, a relationship shared between us beyond form. A union that cannot be described, only felt. It's the similar feeling when you focus less on trying to label something, and you simply observe it without thought. You embark in a beautiful mystery of the mysterious. I realize at that moment we are both energy vibrating at a very low density, existing in this dream world of illusion. Here we are plopped on this finite sphere called Earth, in a finite body, going around like everything is normal when in actuality it's beyond normal, it's beyond words. The connection between the unmanifested and the manifested, between humans and humans, humans and nature. It feels so strongly like a game, like a playground of some sort.  After being born, we had our respective parents tell us what they think the story of life is, but don't know for sure. They rely on the stories of their family members before to pass one down. W...

1/10/20 I feel like my calling is beyond my own understanding. I feel like I'm being deeply prepared for a grand resurfacing into the public eye. To be honest, this isn't something I want nor is it something I don't want. It's just a condition of life. But if it is necessary for me to spread consciousness to the world, then let it be.  Worldly recognition doesn't add or diminish who I am. I see it simply as another attribute of life. Some have it added, some don't. You're not happier with or without it if you find your happiness from within. Just like your clothes can't add to your height; fame cannot add anything to who I am. It's almost like an accessory to the body. Just as finite as the body, fleeting, here for one second and gone the next. It's a part of the role I play as this character in this dream, and it's nothing more than that. As long as I am ever connected to the Source, God Himself, I am at peace. All the accessories of life ar...

1/10/20 I'm not impressed with what religion you ascribe to, I'm impressed with how much you are like God. "You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness."                     - Ephesians 4:22‭-‬24  The secret to a happy life is finding happiness within and being content with that which is without. Jesus could have written the New Testament, but he didn't, I wonder why? If Jesus' purpose was to give us a perfect canon, why did he not write it? Because if he did, there would be no one more qualified than him to produce the New Testament. God also could've written the Bible and made it be slowly lowered to the Earth and have it be perfect, but He didn't... Why? Do Christians put more emphasis on the words abo...

1/10/20 Sometimes I worry that one of my close friends will be threatened by my openness and authenticity. That what I say might destroy the fence they put around their beliefs And it would be easier to let go of our friendship then to grow in our friendship I'm afraid that my curiosity will be taken with hostility instead for opportunity to grow  Then instead of talking it through with you They talk about you Instead of listening to you They try hard to forget about you Because silence is more comfortable than having their beliefs challenged Not because of you, but because of what you stand for But then I realize I can't help if someone can't handle new outlooks and perspectives I can't help if someone puts their identity in their beliefs I can't help if people are threatened because it doesn't fit the narrative they grew up hearing But if two paths were meant to diverge, then all I can say is good luck and God bless I guess I shouldn't worry Because maybe ...

1/10/20 1. Atheistic/Agnostic point of view This belief can be on a spectrum of absolute Atheist to hopeful agnostic. Some enjoy that they don't believe in a God, that there is no purpose or meaning to life and thrive with that knowledge, while others might believe that way but hope they are wrong and that there truly is a purpose and a plan and life after death. The Atheistic view requires belief because it requires you to believe that our origin is the result of a cataclysmic fault brought into existence out of a highly improbable cause.  Also, technically there is no meaning in the universe for our existence and that order was brought out of chaos. It uses science to believe in the process of science without a Creator, a Source, or Sustainer. It requires one to believe that chaos randomly assembled into order and the laws of the universe popped into existence, even though none of this was supposed to happen, and our existence is meaningless. It's strangely paradoxical, yet p...

1/10/20 Yes, I believe much wisdom can come from the Bible, but I also believe it can be one of the most dangerous books on earth if one is not careful. You can read a verse encouraging someone to love your neighbor and in the same book you can find a verse to justify your nation murdering and annihilating a group of people who are different from your nation. That same book you use to encourage your brethren is used by others to deny women's rights. That same book you use to praise God is the same book that was used to justify enslaving millions of African American slaves. Is that not dangerous? I've finally freed myself from the impending guilt and shame that seemed to be wrapped within many doctrines of denominations, taken from the Bible. I'm not saying it's the Bible's fault in attaching guilt to humanity, but rather those in religion who need to stir fear in the hearts of their followers or else they won't come back, and if they don't come back, who wil...

1/10/20 Growing up in my huge megachurch, so many of us chased good feelings during worship. People would be crying, on the floor shaking with the "Holy Spirit" and then there would be me... I felt like something was wrong with me because I wasn't being moved the same way as them emotionally, and because I wasn't having the same experiences that they were having. I felt left out. I felt confused. Then years later I find other teachers who focus on the stillness, the present moment, the now, and I realize there is something even deeper. It's entering into being. A state that is always and already. Aligned and blissful and a connection with the eternal. It goes beyond longing, yearning. The state of being is the Reality of all. It's the moment of moments. It's where the Divine touches the mortal. The inward universe touches the outer universe. Where all is united as one. Once one enters into the state of being, no experience could ever compare. 

1/10/20 When you've had your worldview broken, not once, not twice, but multiple times, you might start to question the current one you sit in because you don't want that one to also be broken, but if it is, you would want out. For a period of my life, I believed the local church narrative. For a period of my life I believed the Covenant narrative and then for a period of my life I believed the Orthodox Church narrative, then I finally sit in the Baptist Church narrative.  You realize there's a major difference between thinking and being. Thinking can be likened to reading a story to your kids about the great adventures of Shrek, and being can be likened to literally being with Shrek as he is on his adventure. Thinking is okay, but being is so much better. The narrative and thoughts about life are okay, but being in the present moment experiencing the riches are so much better. I realized that the fundamental aspect of religion is so focused on the thinking of life, that it...