Thought Dump Part 15 - I Enjoy Uprooting Harmful Belief Systems / Taking Testosterone / Similarities & Differences of Religions
May 30th
I feel like my job is to uproot and show the frailty of belief systems. To show how flimsy, temporary and how ridiculous it is to have ourselves identified with a temporary thing that will no longer exist. I don’t want to start another religious or spiritual community based on my belief system, especially since they naturally contain limits and I think that would be a waste of time to constrict people. I would so rather use my precious time to help liberate people from constricting belief systems, religions, etc. I would rather use my time to show how people are more expansive than these organizations with very obvious limits. I would rather want people to be able to think for themselves; to be able to focus on reality. To focus on what they know rather than wrap their whole lives in a limited religious idea.
--
See for many people, when good things happen they’re happy. When bad things happen, they’re sad. They are tossed around by the events, then the events trigger them. These events create reactions and that is the reality for a lot of people. The goal of an ascended master in the life is regardless of if it’s a good time or a bad time, they have a joy about themselves in which nothing can knock them over. Nothing can sway them from this inherent peace. Nothing can take away their joy, their happiness. They stand as witnesses above the duality and affirm our inherent oneness and the love that binds all. No one can trigger them because they stay empowered by not giving anyone else their power.
--
See if there was some pill that could make me conform my brain to my gender, then I would be changing my identity of how I have always seen myself, not how the world as always seen me.
However by taking testosterone injections that are changing my body to conform to my gender identity of "Male", I am retaining my identity. I am retaining who I was but now the world has to conform with who I have always been in this incarnation. So the reason why I prefer this way is because I’m not losing myself. I’m not becoming a different person. I’ve always been this person, it’s just being expressed outwardly as well.
So if there did exist some medication to change the brain to conform to my sex assigned at birth, that would be changing my identity that I've always felt. It would be like I’m becoming someone I’m not, who I haven’t been and then it would feel like it would be a new incarnation because my brain has been rewired differently than how it has always felt. So for me, changing the body to conform to my brain I believe would feel more "peaceful" than changing my brain to conform to my body because I retain how I've always felt in my brain.
--
Go within .
To know your body is super important.
It is a gift to be able to make yourself orgasm.
It is a gift to give your body good feelings.
Desire and pleasure are not evil, they are amazing experiences that can teach us more about ourselves, others and All That Is (God).
Desire and pleasure can motivate us to seek new experiences, meet new people, get closer to our truth, to get closer to God.
Religion will benefit from your fear of desire and pleasure because then they can guilt you into coming back.
They can convince you that your desire or pleasure is a sin that needs your constant return to their church to help you not desire or engage in pleasure outside of their instructions.
Be free. Fuck restrictive religions. Love yourself enough to explore yourself and not feel guilty about it. Everything in its own beautiful way is divine and conscious. Experience yourself, and be free my friend.
--
I feel like what we often forget about people is that our thoughts and beliefs can change as we get older and that’s completely normal and in most cases, a sign of healthy progression. Imagine if you always believed the boogie man existed under your bed then you'd probably still be scared to sleep with the light off. So in my personal experience regarding beliefs, people’s dominant beliefs are a reflection of their current state of consciousness. Someone’s identification with the current positive/negative belief systems of this world or lack of identification or fear around them are a reflection of their state of consciousness.
Someone’s need to have a certain label mean a certain thing (identification to words having strict meanings) also reflects their state of consciousness. So if you ever read my blog, I want to make it clear that I am not claiming at all that what I write is infallible and perfect. On the contrary, I’m showing you my journey of my consciousness and how oftentimes you will see myself trade out old belief systems that no longer work for me for better, healthier and more stable belief systems that help me in my personal evolution and growth as a person.
I've definitely went through a lot of similar patterns that have helped me see the nature of beliefs and the nature of my personal reality. From identification to identification. From belief system to belief system. From beliefs to focusing on science and reality. From being hurt from trauma to being healed from trauma. I’m showing you my raw thoughts on my life in this now moment. I’m not expecting any of my thoughts or beliefs to be perfect, but rather as a testament of my journey of life. What even is a perfect thought? So once again, I’m showing you where I currently am on my journey as I walk the path alongside you back home.
--
I just had a realization... When we were younger, we might have thought the boogie man existed under our bed and our parents would tell us that’s silly look there is no boogie man. But now, we have preachers and teachers in religion’s convincing you, “Look there is a devil who exists causing you harm every day” why don’t we have more people saying, “Look, do you see a visible devil? Then why are you afraid if you haven't even visibly seen it to prove it's existence?”
--
June 1st
When Christians say, “Well how could you not believe in God?!” I say, “I never said I don’t believe in God, I just have too much of an optimistic view of God to apply all the duality, favoritism, hatred, jealousy, wrath, murder, bloody sacrifices, and bending people’s wills found in the Old and New Testament to apply that to the Creator.
When people say, “Well if your research brought you to be a critic of Christianity and out of the religion just to go to hell, why do you feel so happy?” I say, well first of all I never said I am outside nor inside of Christianity. I affirm my oneness with God and confirm religion cannot constrict me within its boundaries.
Next, if critically thinking, researching church history, researching Jewish history, researching how other neighboring religious doctrines seeped into Christianity and brought doctrines of eternal hell, more duality, and ideas of a devious devil into existence, and I’m using all this information to formulate an understanding of what doctrines in Christianity are harmful or beneficial, wouldn’t that be better for everyone to be aware of?
If me bringing this information to people to help them figure out what doctrines are a waste of their time and are harmful and what doctrines are beneficial is going to bring me to hell, then does God really want us to critically think? Does God really want to save us? Because then in that case, not using one’s brain and just blindly accepting and believing what the preacher says is the best thing for you to get into heaven sounds like the God who wants that is a little sketchy to follow in my opinion…
--
June 1st
Writing out my raw, cold, uncensored thoughts on the harmful doctrines within Christianity is part of my personal deconditioning process. I used to feel guilty to share what it was that was harmful, but then I realized that this is not only a normal process of deconditioning, but it’s helpful to help other people become aware so they don’t waste time believing in harmful doctrines themselves unless they personally want to experience it.
Also, I noticed after going through this process for a few years that there is a similar pattern that follows when one deconditions. One is at first when you become aware of harmful belief systems, ideas, thoughts that stem from a religious group, you are genuinely shocked that you didn’t realize it for so many years. You can’t belief that you accepted it as reality and never questioned it. There may be some grief that you didn’t realize all of this earlier as to save you from the pain from it, but it quickly turns into joy when you realize you're free from such harmful beliefs.
Secondly, you realize those beliefs do not come from yourself but rather they come from something outside of you, therefore it is not you and you do not have to identify with other people’s ideas. Thirdly, you begin to explore why those beliefs are harmful to you and to others. Fourthly, after exploring it, you may feel these pushed down emotions from the pain, anguish, trauma you experienced by adopting these belief systems as your own for so long and these emotions might rise to the surface.
This may seem scary, painful, worrisome but this is actually how we heal stored trauma in our bodies. A lot of trauma in our bodies stem from ideas, beliefs, and thoughts that trigger emotions that we are too afraid to feel and so we become numb to them and we use cognitive dissonance to distract ourselves. So by allowing ourselves to feel these trapped emotions and look at the trauma these belief systems miscreated within us, we release the trauma and emotions with love and light so that they no longer are stored in our body negatively.
So when I write out my thoughts on these these belief systems within Christianity on my blog or on posts, a lot of times people are quite literally witnessing the trauma and trapped emotions burst through my words that I write because oftentimes I am feeling these emotions as I'm writing and then that’s part of my process of releasing those "old" emotions then healing them with love.
In the past, I was conditioned by MULTIPLE Christian denominations to be afraid to question the interpretations of the church because I would potentially upset God to the point where he would chastise me or even worse, take my life against my free will to live. I was also deeply afraid that my Christian pastors and friends would think I’m like “doubting Thomas" because of my many questions. So to me, it seemed like accepting it even when it didn’t make sense was a much safer option for most of my life rather than challenging it and having my whole community take away my privileges of serving as a leader for the church, as a Bible study leader for the girls, and as a major support system for other people within my church. I remember being five years old when my mother was trying to explain the predominant belief in Christianity that Jesus had to die for our sins to save everyone and thinking to myself, "That literally makes no sense." It wasn't until many years later that I realized oftentimes as kids, we are more in tune with what is a belief system rooted in irrationality, stories and exclusion and what beliefs create coherency, understanding, unity and expansion.
--
Quote
One of the most important differences between Jewish monotheism and Zoroastrian monotheism is that Jews recognize the one God as the Source of both good and evil, light and darkness, while Zoroastrians, during all the phases of their long theological history, think of God only as the Source of good, with evil as a separate principle.
There is a famous passage in Second Isaiah, composed during or after the Exile, which is sometimes cited as a Jewish rebuke to the Zoroastrian idea of a dualistic God: "I am YHVH, unrivalled: I form the light and create the dark. I make good fortune and create calamity, it is I, YHVH, who do all this." (Isaiah 45:7) This passage, which is a major source for Jewish speculation on the source of good and evil in the world, denies the Zoroastrian idea of a God who is the source only of "good" and favorable things
Jews had their own ideas of angels long before they encountered Zoroastrianism; angels were nameless, impersonal representatives of God's message and action. But after the Exile, Jewish angels gained names and personalities, and also are spoken of as guardians of various natural phenomena, just like the Zoroastrian yazatas. The Jewish and Christian idea of a personal "guardian angel" may also have been inspired by the Zoroastrian figure of the fravashi, the divine guardian-spirit of each individual human being.
--
I feel like my job is to uproot and show the frailty of belief systems. To show how flimsy, temporary and how ridiculous it is to have ourselves identified with a temporary thing that will no longer exist. I don’t want to start another religious or spiritual community based on my belief system, especially since they naturally contain limits and I think that would be a waste of time to constrict people. I would so rather use my precious time to help liberate people from constricting belief systems, religions, etc. I would rather use my time to show how people are more expansive than these organizations with very obvious limits. I would rather want people to be able to think for themselves; to be able to focus on reality. To focus on what they know rather than wrap their whole lives in a limited religious idea.
--
See for many people, when good things happen they’re happy. When bad things happen, they’re sad. They are tossed around by the events, then the events trigger them. These events create reactions and that is the reality for a lot of people. The goal of an ascended master in the life is regardless of if it’s a good time or a bad time, they have a joy about themselves in which nothing can knock them over. Nothing can sway them from this inherent peace. Nothing can take away their joy, their happiness. They stand as witnesses above the duality and affirm our inherent oneness and the love that binds all. No one can trigger them because they stay empowered by not giving anyone else their power.
--
See if there was some pill that could make me conform my brain to my gender, then I would be changing my identity of how I have always seen myself, not how the world as always seen me.
However by taking testosterone injections that are changing my body to conform to my gender identity of "Male", I am retaining my identity. I am retaining who I was but now the world has to conform with who I have always been in this incarnation. So the reason why I prefer this way is because I’m not losing myself. I’m not becoming a different person. I’ve always been this person, it’s just being expressed outwardly as well.
So if there did exist some medication to change the brain to conform to my sex assigned at birth, that would be changing my identity that I've always felt. It would be like I’m becoming someone I’m not, who I haven’t been and then it would feel like it would be a new incarnation because my brain has been rewired differently than how it has always felt. So for me, changing the body to conform to my brain I believe would feel more "peaceful" than changing my brain to conform to my body because I retain how I've always felt in my brain.
--
Go within .
To know your body is super important.
It is a gift to be able to make yourself orgasm.
It is a gift to give your body good feelings.
Desire and pleasure are not evil, they are amazing experiences that can teach us more about ourselves, others and All That Is (God).
Desire and pleasure can motivate us to seek new experiences, meet new people, get closer to our truth, to get closer to God.
Religion will benefit from your fear of desire and pleasure because then they can guilt you into coming back.
They can convince you that your desire or pleasure is a sin that needs your constant return to their church to help you not desire or engage in pleasure outside of their instructions.
Be free. Fuck restrictive religions. Love yourself enough to explore yourself and not feel guilty about it. Everything in its own beautiful way is divine and conscious. Experience yourself, and be free my friend.
--
I feel like what we often forget about people is that our thoughts and beliefs can change as we get older and that’s completely normal and in most cases, a sign of healthy progression. Imagine if you always believed the boogie man existed under your bed then you'd probably still be scared to sleep with the light off. So in my personal experience regarding beliefs, people’s dominant beliefs are a reflection of their current state of consciousness. Someone’s identification with the current positive/negative belief systems of this world or lack of identification or fear around them are a reflection of their state of consciousness.
Someone’s need to have a certain label mean a certain thing (identification to words having strict meanings) also reflects their state of consciousness. So if you ever read my blog, I want to make it clear that I am not claiming at all that what I write is infallible and perfect. On the contrary, I’m showing you my journey of my consciousness and how oftentimes you will see myself trade out old belief systems that no longer work for me for better, healthier and more stable belief systems that help me in my personal evolution and growth as a person.
I've definitely went through a lot of similar patterns that have helped me see the nature of beliefs and the nature of my personal reality. From identification to identification. From belief system to belief system. From beliefs to focusing on science and reality. From being hurt from trauma to being healed from trauma. I’m showing you my raw thoughts on my life in this now moment. I’m not expecting any of my thoughts or beliefs to be perfect, but rather as a testament of my journey of life. What even is a perfect thought? So once again, I’m showing you where I currently am on my journey as I walk the path alongside you back home.
--
I just had a realization... When we were younger, we might have thought the boogie man existed under our bed and our parents would tell us that’s silly look there is no boogie man. But now, we have preachers and teachers in religion’s convincing you, “Look there is a devil who exists causing you harm every day” why don’t we have more people saying, “Look, do you see a visible devil? Then why are you afraid if you haven't even visibly seen it to prove it's existence?”
--
June 1st
When Christians say, “Well how could you not believe in God?!” I say, “I never said I don’t believe in God, I just have too much of an optimistic view of God to apply all the duality, favoritism, hatred, jealousy, wrath, murder, bloody sacrifices, and bending people’s wills found in the Old and New Testament to apply that to the Creator.
When people say, “Well if your research brought you to be a critic of Christianity and out of the religion just to go to hell, why do you feel so happy?” I say, well first of all I never said I am outside nor inside of Christianity. I affirm my oneness with God and confirm religion cannot constrict me within its boundaries.
Next, if critically thinking, researching church history, researching Jewish history, researching how other neighboring religious doctrines seeped into Christianity and brought doctrines of eternal hell, more duality, and ideas of a devious devil into existence, and I’m using all this information to formulate an understanding of what doctrines in Christianity are harmful or beneficial, wouldn’t that be better for everyone to be aware of?
If me bringing this information to people to help them figure out what doctrines are a waste of their time and are harmful and what doctrines are beneficial is going to bring me to hell, then does God really want us to critically think? Does God really want to save us? Because then in that case, not using one’s brain and just blindly accepting and believing what the preacher says is the best thing for you to get into heaven sounds like the God who wants that is a little sketchy to follow in my opinion…
--
June 1st
Writing out my raw, cold, uncensored thoughts on the harmful doctrines within Christianity is part of my personal deconditioning process. I used to feel guilty to share what it was that was harmful, but then I realized that this is not only a normal process of deconditioning, but it’s helpful to help other people become aware so they don’t waste time believing in harmful doctrines themselves unless they personally want to experience it.
Also, I noticed after going through this process for a few years that there is a similar pattern that follows when one deconditions. One is at first when you become aware of harmful belief systems, ideas, thoughts that stem from a religious group, you are genuinely shocked that you didn’t realize it for so many years. You can’t belief that you accepted it as reality and never questioned it. There may be some grief that you didn’t realize all of this earlier as to save you from the pain from it, but it quickly turns into joy when you realize you're free from such harmful beliefs.
Secondly, you realize those beliefs do not come from yourself but rather they come from something outside of you, therefore it is not you and you do not have to identify with other people’s ideas. Thirdly, you begin to explore why those beliefs are harmful to you and to others. Fourthly, after exploring it, you may feel these pushed down emotions from the pain, anguish, trauma you experienced by adopting these belief systems as your own for so long and these emotions might rise to the surface.
This may seem scary, painful, worrisome but this is actually how we heal stored trauma in our bodies. A lot of trauma in our bodies stem from ideas, beliefs, and thoughts that trigger emotions that we are too afraid to feel and so we become numb to them and we use cognitive dissonance to distract ourselves. So by allowing ourselves to feel these trapped emotions and look at the trauma these belief systems miscreated within us, we release the trauma and emotions with love and light so that they no longer are stored in our body negatively.
So when I write out my thoughts on these these belief systems within Christianity on my blog or on posts, a lot of times people are quite literally witnessing the trauma and trapped emotions burst through my words that I write because oftentimes I am feeling these emotions as I'm writing and then that’s part of my process of releasing those "old" emotions then healing them with love.
In the past, I was conditioned by MULTIPLE Christian denominations to be afraid to question the interpretations of the church because I would potentially upset God to the point where he would chastise me or even worse, take my life against my free will to live. I was also deeply afraid that my Christian pastors and friends would think I’m like “doubting Thomas" because of my many questions. So to me, it seemed like accepting it even when it didn’t make sense was a much safer option for most of my life rather than challenging it and having my whole community take away my privileges of serving as a leader for the church, as a Bible study leader for the girls, and as a major support system for other people within my church. I remember being five years old when my mother was trying to explain the predominant belief in Christianity that Jesus had to die for our sins to save everyone and thinking to myself, "That literally makes no sense." It wasn't until many years later that I realized oftentimes as kids, we are more in tune with what is a belief system rooted in irrationality, stories and exclusion and what beliefs create coherency, understanding, unity and expansion.
--
Quote
One of the most important differences between Jewish monotheism and Zoroastrian monotheism is that Jews recognize the one God as the Source of both good and evil, light and darkness, while Zoroastrians, during all the phases of their long theological history, think of God only as the Source of good, with evil as a separate principle.
There is a famous passage in Second Isaiah, composed during or after the Exile, which is sometimes cited as a Jewish rebuke to the Zoroastrian idea of a dualistic God: "I am YHVH, unrivalled: I form the light and create the dark. I make good fortune and create calamity, it is I, YHVH, who do all this." (Isaiah 45:7) This passage, which is a major source for Jewish speculation on the source of good and evil in the world, denies the Zoroastrian idea of a God who is the source only of "good" and favorable things
Jews had their own ideas of angels long before they encountered Zoroastrianism; angels were nameless, impersonal representatives of God's message and action. But after the Exile, Jewish angels gained names and personalities, and also are spoken of as guardians of various natural phenomena, just like the Zoroastrian yazatas. The Jewish and Christian idea of a personal "guardian angel" may also have been inspired by the Zoroastrian figure of the fravashi, the divine guardian-spirit of each individual human being.
--
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