Entry 107: Choose Wisely

Any new friendships are definitely more unstable than friendships that you've been investing in for years. It's kind of like a trial period. You don't know for sure if they're lifelong friends, so you go in with no expectations and just the thought of having a good time. 

Then if they end up not having what you desire in a friendship, then you don't let them in your inner circle. It doesn't mean they're a bad person, or you're a bad person, it just means you value certain things over other things, and if they don't value what you value, then perhaps you keep a certain boundary up.

Maybe they aren't reliable, and reliability is very important to you. Or maybe they're not trustworthy, or maybe your personalities just don't end up matching, or whatever else it is. There's no requirement when starting a friendship that you must always allow them into your inner circle and give them your time and priority. Anyone you let into your inner circle should have a very convincing reason as to why they should be the keeper of some of the most vulnerable parts of who you are. 

The moment you let them into your inner circle, they're not just a friend, they are a part of your journey, your very personal journey in life because you're allowing them to see some of the deepest parts of you and deepest struggles that most people will never see. That's why I advise you to really get to know someone before bringing them in because what if it doesn't work out? Well then they know all this info about your very personal life and now since they don't talk to you, you're now something to talk about with others.

Your life is precious, and who you spend it with should value that preciousness as well. If you two are on the same page about what you value, then you're in a better position than if you just let them in and start getting super vulnerable and expecting them to be a certain way when you actually don't know what they'll do with what piece of your heart you give them. 

Also, who you spend time with, who you share life with will change you little by little, so be careful with your time, energy and commitment. There's nothing wrong with having lots of friends, but when it comes to those friends who are in your inner circle, there's nothing wrong with being very picky. I mean, you only have so much time before you're gone. Don't spread yourself thin. Don't be careless with your choices, and most importantly, choose wisely.