Entry 123 - A Synopsis on the Welcome to Physics Vine

10/20/19

A lot of people can't believe I turned down MTV when they requested the copyright of the video. They say, "You could've been even more big!" The thing is, I was only around 16 years old. I didn't even know what career I wanted to pursue at that point. Yeah, I knew I loved storytelling and making YouTube sketches for my Spanish classes, but at that age, I didn't come to the conclusion that I would pursue acting until later on. 

Before that vine went viral, I was very much an introverted extrovert. Yes, I loved talking to people and meeting new people, but I had to have my alone time. I often found myself reading books or playing video games in the comfort of my own home, or going on long hikes alone. Growing up, I wasn't that person who was always hanging out with someone all the time. Yes, maybe on the weekends from time to time, but most of my high school years, I spent my time doing what I loved and was content with that.

A few months before I downloaded Vine, one of my good friends passed away from a car accident. That event was a major catalyst in my growth and expansion in doing what I love and being authentic with who I am. I started to branch out more, meet new people, and develop new friendships. 

I started the process of shedding this 'shy to myself' mold and embraced more of what I was at that time and what I was comfortable sharing about. I loved people and I recognized how short life was, so when I started Vine, it was almost like a new era of my life that was beginning. I was exploring new friendships, what I love to do, my humor, and I was exploring whatever came my way with more optimism.

I don't want you to assume that I didn't have thoughts about going viral. I had friends tell me they saw me going viral, my Spanish teacher telling me I should audition for SNL, and I was curious about all things in life, which very much included what it would be like to be famous. 

I remember thinking some time before I went viral on my way to tennis, "I could see myself having 10,000 followers" and then not too long after that I had 40,000. I wasn't too sure what the correlation was between thinking and manifesting, but I did get a glimpse of how ones thoughts can become words, and words can become actions, and actions can manifest those thoughts. For a 16-year-old, that was a very shocking discovery, to say the least.

So once the Vine went viral, there were a lot of complex things that were happening within me and outside of me that were overwhelming for little teenager Ky Ky. I had all these random people from all over the world commenting on a 6-second video saying the worst and best things about it when they had no clue who I even was. 

I had random people who I grew up with who before the vine went viral, acted like I didn't exist then after it went viral, all of a sudden acted like we were best friends. It felt like everyone in the school knew me and if something happened, the next day literally everyone and their mom's mom knew about it. 

I felt the ego the strongest I've felt ever before in my life and I felt that people gave me much more influence than I should have received. I went from being the back of the pack to everyone crowding around when I would tell a story. It was so fascinating but also very strange. 

I was learning a lot from that experience, but overall once it came, I definitely didn't feel ready. I didn't feel prepared. Going viral definitely made me ask myself a lot of questions and I felt like it most likely wasn't the best idea to capitalize off of it when I'm still learning about who I really am and growing. The pressure to post, the constant influx of messages on social media and so much more was beyond anything I've ever experienced before.

I was transitioning to college and a lot of changes were happening in my life. I was still trying to discover myself and grow and mature into a responsible, young adult (and still had ways to go). I didn't want "fame" to go to my head, and I was scared of becoming something I didn't want to be. I wish I could express how I felt, but overall it was just a lot and I knew it wasn't a good time to jump head first into this opportunity with MTV, so I said no, and I'm very grateful I did because the next four years were going to be the most challenging, intense, hard years of my life. 

Some of the challenges I went through, I couldn't post it anywhere or even tell my best friends until after it had happened because I couldn't handle explaining it without going into uncontrollable tears and intense feelings of anxiety. So, I couldn't even imagine having a following and feel that pressure and expectation from others to always share what is going on in my life, or to produce entertaining segments on social media in the midst of those trials.

Now I'm in a place in my life where I'm finally, finally becoming more comfortable finding out who I am, loving what I love, doing what I want to do, and accomplishing my goals. I have a direction, I have goals, and I've learned so much about myself throughout the years. I appreciate all the lessons I've learned with my Welcome to Physics Vine going viral, but that is part of the past, and it no longer defines me. 

All I have is right now and as of now I'm focusing on continually improving my software engineering skills, my acting skills, my improv skills, and my YouTube sketches. If fame comes again, that's fine. I won't resist, but I also won't force it to come. I don't think it's bad to market yourself, but as of now, my main focus is finishing my degree and sharpening my acting skills in general. I feel like it's best doing what you love and then from that, naturally having people appreciate the work you bring into existence and decide to join the journey you're on.

Though I believe the Vine was a very big learning experience, and I'm grateful for all that I've learned through it, now I desire to do amazing things that will eventually change the world for the better. I want to perform in theaters, musicals, TV, and movies in a way that will impact people from all over the world and bring a new perspective through these characters that I'm honored to portray. 

I want to start a charity to help people pay for their surgery because even though I was fortunate to have my insurance cover a predominant amount of the cost, a lot of people all over the world don't have that luxury. I want to volunteer my time and effort into restoring the Earth and helping those in need who have no one to help them. I want to use my voice to bring motivation and encouragement to the world that we can make a difference every single day, starting right now.

This is what makes my heart sing. This is what I look forward to. It doesn't matter if I have a massive following or a small following, just as long as I can help make the world a better place, then that's great. My happiness doesn't come from how many followers I have, how much money I receive, or what possessions I have. 

My happiness is from within and originates from God Himself. This gives me the freedom to just be. To be content with what I have, where I am right now, and to do what I love and give that love back to others and the Earth.  So as long as I can serve others with the best that I can, and give back as much as I can through what God gives me, then I have accomplished my goal in life.