Entry 245 - Don't Feel Bad When You Say No
5/16/20
Recently, I was put in a position where someone wanted to do something that I didn't want to do. When I said no, they kept on asking me, assuming that I would eventually say yes. However, over and over again I made it clear that my answer was no. As if saying no wasn't enough in itself, they then attempted to explain why it wasn't right why I said no. They said it was because of this and because of that, and those are all poor reasons to say no to what they wanted to do irregardless of what I wanted to do.
I share this small snippet of life to tell you if this ever happens to you, I wanted you to know you have every right to say no if you don't want to do something with someone, regardless of what that might be. Whether that's go somewhere, do something with your property, or so forth, you have every right to say no, and you are by no means expected to give a reason why. Your "no" should be enough for someone, and if they do not respect your choice and continue to try to push you to do that which you do not wish to do, it shows their lack of respect.
Someone who is understanding will respect your choice and move on. They won't be hurt by you saying no. They won't try to make you feel bad for saying no. They won't give you multiple reasons why you should say yes if you feel like you do not want to do that which they do want to do. No one deserves a thorough explanation as to why, but people do deserve to be treated humanely. Remember the golden rule. Treat others as you would like to be treated. When someone speaks, listen to them. If they don't do what you want, it isn't a bad thing, it's simply their choice. Not everyone will act how you want them to act. Not everyone will do as you wish.
Not everyone will speak as you speak. People are unique. People are complex. Many forces drive our decisions, and you cannot expect people to think exactly like you and automatically want to do what you want to do when they're a completely different human being with different tastes, experiences, likes and so on. Just remember, when someone is speaking their truth, and they answer you, don't put them down. It's a blessing to cross paths. Don't make your time with this other human being sour by not honoring their words.
I share this small snippet of life to tell you if this ever happens to you, I wanted you to know you have every right to say no if you don't want to do something with someone, regardless of what that might be. Whether that's go somewhere, do something with your property, or so forth, you have every right to say no, and you are by no means expected to give a reason why. Your "no" should be enough for someone, and if they do not respect your choice and continue to try to push you to do that which you do not wish to do, it shows their lack of respect.
Someone who is understanding will respect your choice and move on. They won't be hurt by you saying no. They won't try to make you feel bad for saying no. They won't give you multiple reasons why you should say yes if you feel like you do not want to do that which they do want to do. No one deserves a thorough explanation as to why, but people do deserve to be treated humanely. Remember the golden rule. Treat others as you would like to be treated. When someone speaks, listen to them. If they don't do what you want, it isn't a bad thing, it's simply their choice. Not everyone will act how you want them to act. Not everyone will do as you wish.
Not everyone will speak as you speak. People are unique. People are complex. Many forces drive our decisions, and you cannot expect people to think exactly like you and automatically want to do what you want to do when they're a completely different human being with different tastes, experiences, likes and so on. Just remember, when someone is speaking their truth, and they answer you, don't put them down. It's a blessing to cross paths. Don't make your time with this other human being sour by not honoring their words.
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