Thought Dump Part 20 - Sexual Repression / Dating a Trans Man / It's Okay To Say How You Feel

 
April 8th 2021

How sexual repression works, especially if you grew up in a fundamental Christian denomination that pushed purity culture down your throat, is that your gender expression and any other sexuality that wasn’t approved by the church became repressed by yourself so that you would be seen as “moral.”

So how I repressed my gender expression (heterosexual trans man) was that I convinced myself that maybe I’m just asexual and I want to be a buff girl and that’s it. It didn't solve anything, but telling myself a lie was better than ending up dead.

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April 10th

Reasons you should date a Trans Man

1. We Have practically lived two lives of being perceived differently in one, so we’re very much likely to understand and sympathize with many of your struggles as a women.
2. We can sympathize with what it feels like to get the monthly period and how to treat you right while you're going through it.
3. We’re really good at picking up signals normally only women can pick up.
4. We know how to have an amazing sleepover every single night. I'm talking about the sweets, the popcorn, the hair braiding, the comfy pillows and covers. We're experts.
5. After all the sleepovers hearing how women want to be treated and what the men did right or wrong, we have tailored experiences for each holiday, outing, and so forth for our future significant other.
6. We will treat you like our equal. No ifs ands or buts about it.
7. You will not only get a boyfriend, but a best friend who will love you in both of those special ways.
8. We will listen to you when you need someone to share how you feel or what you’re going through and we won’t try to dismiss your feelings.
9. We won’t mansplain things to you .
10. Having been trapped in a female body, at least we know the anatomy to a point that make us pretty close to experts for making our significant others finish.
11. We will let you hold us like the little spoon and vice versa.
12. We’ll get you comfy clothes before you even ask
13. While many men claim that house chores are a women's job, we’ll pull our share and also clean the house, do the laundry and even cook for you.

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April 15th

I don’t understand why Christians are so pressed with Lil Nas X’s Montero music video. If they had to ride a pole from heaven to hell, I’m pretty sure they’d do everything possible to get the hell out of there and save everybody… And if that meant riding the devil Himself and snapping his neck, they’d do it in a heartbeat, I'd bet in a heartbeat

Plus, so many Christians absolutely hate the devil and insult him, so why are they pressed when Lil Nas X is killing the entity that they hate the most in a pretend music video? According to esoteric knowledge, hate is just a reflection of the parts of themselves that they hate because all outward hate is a mere reflection of inward hate, so maybe the music video showed more of what they need to heal from than what they thought they needed to judge. Perhaps it brought light on the way they judge that which is dissonant to their beliefs.

I mean, let's logically think this through. Wouldn't a Christian be happy to know that the source of evil is finished? Isn't that what they want? Isn't that what God wants? An end to evil? An end to torture? To murder? To chaotic disorder and suffering? They don't really believe God would want all that to be a forever thing.... Right? Or what God do they worship? A God who does want eternal punishment, eternal suffering, eternal damnation? Or a God who truly will save all mankind when they are ready to be saved. Not forcing, but allowing the option to be there when they are ready by their free will to take it? To me, the music video is extremely intriguing because it caused me to consider these questions and now I wonder what Christians really want.... Or who they really serve...

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Quotes of the day:

Again his Jewish opponents picked up stones to stone him, but Jesus said to them, “I have shown you many good works from the Father. For which of these do you stone me?”

“We are not stoning you for any good work,” they replied, “but for blasphemy, because you, a mere man, claim to be God.”

Jesus answered them, “Is it not written in your Law, ‘I have said you are “gods”’? If he called them ‘gods,’ to whom the word of God came—and Scripture cannot be set aside— what about the one whom the Father set apart as his very own and sent into the world? Why then do you accuse me of blasphemy because I said, ‘I am God’s Son’?”

- John 10:31-36

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Have you ever taken hormones into your body beyond that which you normally produce yourself? (Ex: Birth Control pills, Depo shot)

If yes, then it would be hypocritical for you to judge a trans person for also taking hormones beyond that which they normally produce in their body.

Have you ever had any sort of surgery to make your body healthier or for cosmetic purposes to have a better and healthier relationship with your body? (Ex: Dental surgery, Nose surgery, Hair surgery, Breast surgery)

Then it would be hypocritical for you to judge a trans person for having top or bottom surgery in order to have a healthier relationship with their body.

If you’ve ever had chronic stress and you sought professional treatment (Ex: nutritionist, doctor, personal trainer etc) in order to alleviate that chronic stress and retain homeostasis in the body, then it would be hypocritical for you to judge a trans person for alleviating their chronic stress by seeking scientifically backed up treatment to align their bodies with their brains.


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Our timelines came side by side, but our worlds didn’t reconnect our paths. Now I'm standing here looking at your last image as if it was etched in some ancient glass.
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If light contains information, then what if data (memory) is stored in light similar to how data (memory) is stored in the RAM of a computer?

Then what if the sun is where data (memory) is stored and that’s why we can’t stare at it for too long because us remembering everything would break the illusion we wanted to play in? 👁👄👁

These are the types of
thoughts I get when I start meditating 30+ minutes. 😂

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It is totally alright to consciously talk about your religious trauma; to talk about your suicidal trauma; to talk about your family trauma. It is not a bad thing to figure out how to deal with it. You first need to know about it and you know about it by thinking and talking about it. By digging it out of yourself and confronting it. You’re not a bad person for confronting your trauma by speaking about it with someone you trust and who will help you move through it, past it and beyond it.

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Oct 25th 2020

If beliefs are uncertain, then knowledge is certainty. 

Believing is to faith what knowing is to reality.

Strive to transcend all beliefs to the One knowledge.

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I think that’s the issue with believing that the unknown is uncertainty. Rather I think we should see the unknown positively and optimistically as knowing that we have the ability to choose from an infinite amount of possibilities disguised as unknowns and knowns in varying respects.

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