Journal Discourse Part 56

June 3rd 2022

I don’t believe in the unverifiable claim where one is possessed against their free will by an entity as defined by the religion Christendom.


Instead, I believe in the credible evidence to back up the claim that most people experiencing altered states of personas, which supposedly cause bad behavior, stems from varying mental disorders and/or tension from unresolved trauma stored deep in their bodies. Though I'm not completely discounting the possibility for another entity to inhabit the physical vessel of another, I'm focusing on how it would not be against that person's free will to chose for it to be so.


If we are multi-dimensional souls that chose with our free will to live within this physical body, then is it possible that some people also chose for an entity to inhabit their physical vessel for some time? I would say it's possible, but it would not be the mainstream reason as to why most people behave how they do. I think the mainstream reason is due to mental disorders and unresolved trauma.


Personally I don't think most of the homeless folks on the streets are doing blood contracts with invisible entities in exchange for power, wealth and good living. That also wouldn't make sense because they are still on the streets.... Homeless... If anything, those who make consensual blood contracts to be possessed would most likely be someone already on the left-hand path, the service-to-self path of life.


A person who is on the service-to-self path oftentimes has an affinity for control, wealth, power, and prestige at the expense of other people's well-being. They are more likely to be selfish than selfless, so they most likely would be possessed if it means they can possess and control others. But again, I don't think that is the norm with people in general or with homeless people.


So if one were possessed, it would be according to that soul's free will, not against it as many Christians prepose. I grew up hearing that Christians and non-Christians are "tempted by the devil" or they can be "possessed by demons against their will", thus nullifying the idea that we have free will and autonomy over our bodies. That is where I disagree. To nullify free will by believing in possession of your body and constant temptation from an entity that has access to your mind against your free will, would mean you have no free will.

Christianity might blame it on evil spirits, but I think most of these people they label as "possessed" are actually dealing with a mental disorder or unresolved trauma and never consented to physical possession of an entity. So instead of getting the help they needed, they ended up on the streets. Maybe their insurance dropped them, or they couldn’t get medical insurance. Maybe their family kicked them out. Maybe they went down a bad road and before they knew it, they couldn’t get off the streets.

Similar to how when people get drunk and they blame their bad behavior on “the drunk version of themselves” that they often give a pseudo name to, I think that happens to people homeless on the streets. In many instances with homeless people, as well as with drunk people, they both tend to be in so much mental anguish that the only way they think they can deal with it is by dissociating from their base personality and creating an altered personality as a way to behave in behavior that is considered "bad" or "out of character."

However, instead of the homeless folks making the excuse for their bad behavior, oftentimes more than not, it is the Christians who blame homeless folks bad behavior on a demon rather than on a mental disorder or unresolved trauma. And if that is the course of belief they want to follow, then they better apply that same belief system to themselves when they get drunk with their other Christian friends each weekend and act out of character.

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June 4th

You can’t expect anyone to be everything you need. That’s how you enter a cycle of misery. Instead look within.

How could you be disappointed if you expect nothing in return and give when it is healthy for you to do so?

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Go with the flow of the universe.

The more you resist, the more it will persist.

The more you flow, the more you go.

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People are so addicted to their concepts and beliefs they’ll create full blown religions out of them and then kill you if you don't believe how they believe. And if they can’t kill you, they’ll colonize you.


Instead of working on getting you clean water, food, and an education, they’ll send you hundreds of Bibles and build churches on your property, washing out your history and traditions with their history and traditions.

And if they can’t colonize you, they’ll shame you. They’ll shame you by repetitively reiterating how it's their way or the highway.


They’ll repeat how your destination is hell unless you let them convert you. They make you feel like you're never good enough because you were born a sinner.

Even when you do convert, you’re still seen as a sinner and the grace that saves you will always be something apart from you, hence why they teach everyone by default will go to hell.

All I have to say is what a bleak belief system! Pessimistic to the max, for what???

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I think anyone. whether religious, not religious, agnostic, atheist or whatever other label they choose to wear in which they are not identified deeply or obsessed with their particular belief system, are the most level-headed people, in my opinion.

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June 6th

I find it ironic how so many of us are enjoying the artistic projected reality of "cleaning" or "being in the office" or "making a mocha in a coffee store" in virtual reality more than what we deem as “actual reality.”

It’s almost as if when we purchase something with “real money” it adds value to why we should be present.

Perhaps it’s the mindset that is causing us trouble. Buying things and equating their value to how much they cost rather than being present in the moment regardless of its outward material prices.

When did entertainment only become valuable when we slapped a monetary value on it? How can we escape thinking like that so that we can appreciate the present directly in front of our physical eyes as well as our virtual reality eyes?

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June 6th

I hate how social medias are geared towards selling us as the product in order to make money off of us.

Their site is free because we are their item.

They buy and sell our data as if it’s money.

They track us even when we’re not on their website.

They stalk us with no remorse and take advantage of the fact that we love to connect with a community because that’s in our nature.

I say down with the current trend of social media. The social media that follows casino trends of addiction to the likes and follows.

Addiction to the attention and retention. Addiction to the circus of popularity which is already subjective and a blip in life that will soon be forgotten and useless in our skeleton eyes while we are forging new adventures on the other side.

Let us create a new social media that doesn't profit off of our addictions and weaknesses, but rather encourages us to connect more in real time than on their app.

Let us create a portal of inner communication that does not diminish our outer communication in real life.

Let us create a social media that encourages and rewards total honesty and authenticity of who we are in our fullness rather than social media that creates thousands of filters that change our actual face and body to fit societal standards of "conventional beauty."

Let us exchange the poison for a concoction of truth.

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June 6th:

The whole world is a divine romance and if you look hard enough, you’ll realize you’ve never left heaven.

Because heaven is so much more than a place you go to. At a deeper level, it is a state of reality you remember. Heaven is this present moment.

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The more you know the less you need other people to give you what you believe will satisfy your soul.

Then the less you will rely on other people to give you what you already are.

Life is meant to be a game, not a prison.

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June 7th

We are the spiders of someone else’s planet.

Just like you are three dimensional and your shadows two dimensional, I believe in a higher dimension where we are four dimensional and our third dimensional current self is like our shadow where it is perceived more expansively.

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My Bible is love, not of written words on a paper, but of life inscribed on the heart.

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I have come with many others to bring heaven on earth through raising the awareness that it is already here.

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Memory + Mindfulness/Awareness = Intelligence

You could memorize a bunch of idiotic things, so memory isn’t what makes one act smart.

You could be mindful, but then forget how you were mindful in the past so mindfulness alone doesn’t always equate to acting smart.

The two, memory and mindfulness, help sustain and extend intelligence in all of one's thoughts, words, and deeds.

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June 8th

When I was in high school, I started to go on more trips with my church and I started to notice a disturbing pattern that reignited on each trip. Towards the end of the exciting, fun-filled trip, there was this particular night where we were reminded of how evil, sinful and messed up we were.


We were reminded of how guilty and selfish we’ve been, and how Jesus didn’t need to die for our sins and save us from eternal damnation in hell, but he still did because that’s how much he loved us.

For some reason, I never really bought it on those trips because it was just so drawn out, but also because I was at an interesting place in my life where there wasn’t anything in particular that I felt extremely guilty for. I wasn’t drinking, I wasn’t having sex, and those were the two biggest no nos in that particular denomination.


I tried not to lie. I tried to be nice and loving to everyone, and to me I was doing the best with what I could do. I know I was not perfect at it and that I oftentimes made mistakes, but I didn’t equate my mistakes with sin that required my unwavering guilt to bring me to an unceasing wave of tears and anguish.

I remember after one night of guilt dumping at Bayside’s Summer Daze, I was using the restroom and these girls who were coming into the restroom looked at me and asked if I was crying earlier and I responded "No" and they were slightly shocked. I also felt uncomfortable because so many people seemed to be an emotional wreck and I was just… There.

Another time when I was at Mexicali, they were having their guilt trip night and that was the only night where I fell asleep during the sermon. I woke up to people balling their eyes out and throwing their “sins” into the fire.


I turned over on my chair to someone behind me and whispered, “What were we supposed to write on this paper???” Now I look back and I am thankful that I was not awake to hear that dreadful guilt tripping because one time is more than enough.

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Insta Post
June 8th

The symbolism in death and resurrection is the focus on transformation. The form is transferring. Around 7 to 11 years, most cells that are not in the brain or that are not nerve related will die and be replaced. The average age of cells in the intestine are about 10.7 years while your liver cells will live for 10 to 17 months.

The reality is we are all transforming and changing every instant at a micro and macro level and the outcome of that cause and effect, of birth and death, is the process of transformation.

Some people change and transform faster than others, similar to how some cells change and transform faster than others. The hope is to evolve into a better version of oneself. To not settle. To become a healthier and happier version of oneself. If you do that, then I think the change is more than justifiable.

My outer change in relation to my bodily autonomy has been a lot more obvious than I’d say the average since I’m medically transitioning through hormone replacement therapy, but it was nonetheless a pivotal moment of transformation when I took the first step in that direction.

The moment when I had enough courage to transform, I went for it and that was a big deal for me since I spent most of my life trying to please others at the expense of my own happiness. It was very liberating to finally make the choice at the moment I was ready, rather than waiting around for people to accept it slowly or not at all.

Now I rejoice in my sacred changes. I rejoice in my evolution. I rejoice in my transformation. For through transforming, I break the desire of conforming. I release myself from the desire to please others and I rise above the fear that I once had over who I’ve always been. If I have any advice at all, it’s to not worry about what people think about you.

There’s a good chance that most people really don’t care and if they do care enough to hate or judge you, it’s a cry for communication, a cry for help. If someone else’s positive transformation and change causes another person to feel distressing emotions, it unfortunately shows that they are easily triggered when things don’t go how they want them to or expect them to go according to their ideals, and that is a hard way to live.

I say this because that used to be me a predominant amount of time. There is hope though and by you being you, you shine as an example for those who need it most. So cheers to transformation. Cheers to change. Let us continue to let go of unnecessary fear and demeaning judgement and lead with love and happiness as we go through the divine process of transformation.

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In the past, I used to feel an orgasmic feeling at the base of my neck when I would meditate for hours each day. Just today I felt it within my head within or near the pineal gland which was amazing. The bliss I feel from life is inexpressible. I don’t know how it can continue to get better and better each day, but somehow it manages to.

If you want to tap into this bliss, you don’t need online courses. You don’t need drugs. You don’t need alcohol. You don’t need a significant other. Just go within. Go within the silence to the ground of all being. Find the bliss that never has ceased.
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