Entry 218 - Update

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2/23/20

It’s just the same thing over and over again. 
The same old conversations.... The same cycles.... The same everything.

It all feels so empty... So... Meaningless.... So not even worth pretending like I enjoy it. 

All of it just feels so not worth it. As we circulate through the same 15 topics at the dinner table, I sit there observing, thinking to myself... This can’t possibly be it... This can’t possibly be the meaning.

I feel like I need to return to my calling, to who I am and what I feel like my mission here on earth is because right now I feel the emptiness of all empties. I feel like I’m going against the universe. Like I’m not aligned with my purpose. Like I’m not living my life authentically and it hurts.

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