Entry 218 - Entry 219

-
Entry 218 - Update  
 
2/23/20

It’s just the same thing over and over again. 
The same old conversations.... The same cycles.... The same everything.

It all feels so empty... So... Meaningless.... So not even worth pretending like I enjoy it. 

All of it just feels so not worth it. As we circulate through the same 15 topics at the dinner table, I sit there observing, thinking to myself... This can’t possibly be it... This can’t possibly be the meaning.

I feel like I need to return to my calling, to who I am and what I feel like my mission here on earth is because right now I feel the emptiness of all empties. I feel like I’m going against the universe. Like I’m not aligned with my purpose. Like I’m not living my life authentically and it hurts.
 

  Entry 219 - Creator vs Christianity


3/8/20

I think what's hard about Christianity is it can potentially feed into our weaknesses and insecurities by saying "oh you're not enough", or "you're broken", or "you're sinful" and then Christianity will try to fix you, the broken project. 

I USED to believe that narrative, but now I don't because I believe the truth is, God is already within every single human being. He is everywhere and in all places, in all creation. There is no where He is not. You don't need a special connection from some priest to be one with God, you already are one with God. The very fact that your soul is immortal is proof that you are connected to the Source of immortality, God. 

Christians try to sell it like "Oh I'm going to give you Jesus, and you'll be fixed" but in actuality they're selling their religion, their beliefs, their community, the whole entire package to you. They want you fully connected, fully invested, fully part of their community and if you don't fully buy it and go fully in, then you feel this guilt because you aren't meeting their expectations of what you need to go from broken to redeemed. Even though their whole goal is for you to say a little prayer to save you from the default destination of all who didn't say the prayer (eternal hell) their actual end goal is for you to be dedicated to their religion in its entirety.

Before, when I thought I needed something outside of me because that's how I was trained to think by Christianity, but now I know everything I need is within me because God dwells within my heart. Before I thought I was broken, but God whispers to me, I've always been complete. Much of Christianity says you need our beliefs to be saved, God says I am Your salvation and you always will have me. Christianity says you're a sinner, God says I see a forgiven and loved child of God. Christianity paints God as giving up on a majority of His children to eternal damnation, but God is the truly merciful, benevolent, caring Shepherd who will go to the very depths of Hades to save that one lost sheep, how much more would He go to the ends of the Earth to save everyone who is lost? Does that picture of God match the one where He just let's a majority of people burn in hell?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Entry 1,630 - Entry 1,644

-
Entry 1,630 - January 15th 2023 There’s a difference between spiritualizing life by moralizing and immoralizing daily matters and living life in such a way that uproots preconceived notions of what is considered bad and good by the religious. One intends to force morality into life inorganically according to the groupthink of the religious group, and the other intends to live life more freely and harm-free according to universal principles of life. The latter does not mean you live life without morality but rather that you live beyond the cut-and-dry staples of what each religious group considers moral and immoral. The latter means you go to the essence of what true morality points to—whether someone’s actions cause harm or healing. It does not seek to go beyond that universal essence of morality. It does not puff up the essence with unnecessary doctrines and concepts that clutter and confuse the mind. It does not go beyond the essence to instill unnecessary fear, guilt, and shame. It ...
Read more

Entry 45 - Lesson on Compliments

-
7/28/19 The old self is attracted to negative thoughts and the new self, the real you, is attracted to positive thoughts. The old self embodies all the negative so it wants what it is, and the new self embodies all things positive, so it seeks to be reinforced with what it already is. That's why I believe it is so important to speak truth into people, to reinforce who they truly are because it awakens the real self and keeps them consciously focused on who they really are. There was an experiment done where they insulted a plant and then for another plant, they only spoke nice words, and the results were shocking. The words carried weight on the actual growth or decay of those plants. So if plants don't speak English, then what could possibly be the reason behind one plant living its best life due to the positive words spoken to it and the other plant withering and dying due to negative words being spoken to it in the same controlled situation? Everything, and I mean everyth...
Read more

Entry #21 - Lesson on Problems

-
I was contemplating how small I am compared to the universe, and then I considered how much smaller my problems are compared to the universe, to the mountains, and even to me. I considered what even is a problem? And I realized that problems are problems because they affect us in some way that we wish we weren't affected by. However, we have the potential to determine if something is actually a problem or if it can be seen in a new light.  We can focus on how something is negatively affecting us, or we can focus from another point of view and see the positive lessons we can learn it. Truly, a positive perception on this could definitely help retrain ourselves to think much more positively and contribute to a better overall way of thinking when they come our way. So I'm going to propose looking at "problems" in a new light. So I said a problem normally is considered a problem because it affects us in some way, shape or form; but if we choose to change our perception ...
Read more