Thought Dump Part 34

November 1st

Personally I think it’s harder to see all in all as God than to have a limited vision, limited idea, limited concept, limited image of who God is.

For me, it was easier to project all the good of Christianity onto an image of God that looked like me and to see everything else as not God. The repercussions of that viewpoint is then, everything else is seen as separate from God. Less than God… Inferior to God…

One starts to view God as monarchical; hierarchical in relation to everything else (even though if God is truly limitless, then there is truly no limit to what God is.) That limited viewpoint sees God as the king that must be obeyed irregardless of what you want to do. Oneness somehow mutates into separation.

If someone asks you to remove all ideas, concepts, beliefs, images of God and to not interpret and limit All That Is as a Monarch waiting to punish or reward you, perhaps many wouldn’t be able to grasp that openness… Because something that pervades all concepts, beliefs, images, ideas cannot be grasped by a mind that operates through concepts, beliefs, images, ideas. So the idea and image of God as a Monarch on a throne is something that satisfies our limited minds. Our minds say, "Oh I like that image because I can create and see that image."

However, if one steps beyond the mind, one finds an open space uncharted by the limitations of our humanness encapsulated in form. One finds ‘Being’ in its most natural reality. One finds the oneness that all the enlightened masters have talked about throughout the centuries. At first, it seems too easy to understand, but actually it is the most profound reality we can unfold into. With many religions and spiritual circles, it oftentimes gets thrown around like it’s just another word, but the reality of it pervades all experience.

The truth is, if you have explored beyond the mind of concepts, ideas, beliefs, and images of God, then oneness no longer becomes a word with a definition… It becomes your living reality. You as oneness live through every moment with oneness. Separation is as simulated as the video game some dude played a week ago. How does one get to that point of realization? The truth is you have always been oneness, it’s just a matter of remembering what you've always been. 

That is where the play comes in. Play with the idea until it is no longer an idea to you. When you realize oneness has become more to you than an idea, a belief, a concept, an image, then you are remembering deep down, what you’ve always been. Then you are remembering the ground of all Being. Then, you remember, you simply are.

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Mainstream Christianity might argue:

God is perfect and everything else is horribly wretched and evil and destined for hell. God is perfect, yet God still failed to create perfection. That to me, sounds like a strange, failed fable that unfortunately doesn’t make sense. That's also why I think there is more to the story than what these big tax-free conglomerates called "churches" are saying. 

With no ears themselves, they say listen. With bent wisdom, they command you to follow. With faulty and dogmatic principles, they teach you to trust them more than yourself and if you don't, they try to make you a mockery within their group until you either submit or move on.

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Nov 12th 2021

I was watching this video from Adyashanti’s retreat where a caller called in and pretty much was praising him as if he was a god and she wast less and I was reminded that people who are still in a point of their life where they project their own divinity onto someone or something outside of themselves will do that over and over again without avail.

Whether that be Buddha, Krishna, or celebrities, people will constantly find reasons, beliefs, ideas as to why to project it on them rather than finding it within themselves… Rather than finding the oneness of our divine nature that we all are a part of…

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Nov 13th

When I was in a bed in Berlin, a memory came into my head of something that I realized was extremely pivotal in coming to terms with being trans.

It was when my friend invited me to my buddy's celebrating his 1 year trans birthday. I remember going and not being able to formulate how I felt exactly, but definitely feeling a connection between me and his experience. I remember thinking how cool and awesome it was to have so many family members that loved and supported his transition. The support made me very happy and also made me think a lot... I remember moving around the house thinking to myself, “Could I possibly transition?” “I would probably have to be a little taller.” “What would it be like to have a male body that was in alignment with my brain?” “Would my parents kick me out of the house?” “Would my close family desert me?” “Will people think I’m immoral?”

I had so many questions flood in my mind that were challenging my every thought… Then I remember having a little beer and I got scared because I didn’t want to honestly say what was on my heart… That I’ve always felt like a man even thought I was assigned female at birth. I was scared to have them know, even though those were the most supportive people I probably would ever know. Why was I so scared? What was I afraid of? Them accepting me? Them supporting me? Them helping me get the courage to live my truth? How did my fear of being out as trans become so deep that I was afraid of those who were the most capable of loving and accepting me as another trans man?

That one year trans celebration did give me more hope than I could ever imagine, but it took me some time to realize how much hope it gave me until months later when I started my own transition. I realized people like that who were at the celebration, who love like that, will always be found. Family is more than just who is related to you by blood and it is more about who loves you and accepts you as you are in all that you are.

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Nov 16th
 

I was thinking to myself, maybe religion isn’t all that bad but actually pretty helpful for a lot of people. Maybe some people need a reason to be good, whether that’s with the promise of a reward or just heaven itself, they need that extra push to be a moral person. Maybe they need something outside of themselves to hope into because they are not yet able to fully hope in themselves, but at least it’s a stepping stone in the right direction. Maybe the law that many religions establish are good because they give people who wouldn’t know how to conduct themselves a way to follow and conduct themselves.

This reminds me of Paul when he was talking about the goodness of the law in Romans and how it does serve a good purpose for many, but it was only intended as a teacher for a child until the child grew up and could follow the Spirit of the Law which is within. Some people still need to be treated as a child. “Don’t steal or else you will go to jail.” “Don’t murder anyone or else you will go to jail for probably your whole life.” 

We see it all the time. Some kid thinks he can get away with murdering someone he hates and now he is in prison for life. Or “Don’t say hateful things to others because you hurt them. Work on your own pain and then go out with humility to your friend to resolve the issue.” People need laws in order to guarantee that those who still have the mindset that they would 'benefit" from hurting others might be kept in check. And for others, it’s a way to feel good about following oftentimes a strict morality to a more lax morality.

But deep down people might never admit to that because they mainly believe their religion is the right way or the high way. They are already a member of the community to the point where they cannot separate beliefs from reality, and so this will do until then. The religion itself acts like a wider child conductor then the law which asks its followers to follow. And in return, the person wakes up every morning with feeling their religion will grant them the deepest desires of their heart: To be one or with God, to have wonderful treasures in heaven, to get the virgins they’ve always dreamed of and so forth.

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Nov 19th

I just had something come to my mind!

The observer and the observed are the same within Quantum Physics.

The duality is truly unity when one considers the deeper essence of what it is.

Similar the Creator and the created are the same! There is no other way!

The awareness of both "duals" is the transcendence of the idea of both duality and unity to the ground of being, to the foundation of All.

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Nov 20th


I think a lot about two things Seth says in his books by Jane Roberts:

One, when people all think they are channeling Jesus, or other high celebrity figures who are known by many, most if not all times, they aren’t truly channeling the people they think they are. It’s most likely their higher self or maybe those they made contracts before to help them on their journey. Seth touched on how these well known entities probably came through to loved ones they already knew, but it wasn’t necessary for them to come through to everyone.

I think the reason why so many people claim to channel Jesus and so forth is for multiple reasons. First, the authority of the message becomes instantly more in their eyes and the eyes of their peers if they are channeling from a source they both trust and the world is already familiar with that person's story. Two, people tend to project these saving qualities on these well known figures rather than find that these figures aren’t necessary for one’s upgrades or activations. Your own self is adequate and efficient enough for the work.

You truly don’t even need your guides on the other side if deep down you've found your connection that goes beyond the confusion. However, they definitely do help. You don't need friends but friends on both sides definitely spice up life. The point I’m making is that you and your connection to God/Source is enough to do it all and you also don't need to do it all alone. Some days you may choose solitude progression and other days you may choose a company of people to progress with. Regardless, there is no right or wrong way to progress. Some do so within religions, others within groups of specialized professions such as physics, and others in a cave with a few other hermits.

The second thing I think about is in relation to the first one mentioned above. Seth mentioned in his books how oftentimes, people have to be given the dramas of their heart to be played out, the beliefs systems so deeply embedded into their incarnation’s "mindstuff", before being able to transcend that limited belief system. Similar to how one has to allow oneself to feel the emotions from a traumatic memory before that memory no longer becomes traumatic, that applies to all belief systems of varying nature; and since all belief systems are limited in some way by their nature, it can and eventually will be transcended based on the entity.

One just doesn’t simply forget about the trauma and then move on. They will continue to be triggered by any word, object, similar person connected to that trauma until they deal with it or forget about it completely. So similarly, one must to move through that belief system of trauma whether during this life or after it, or else confusion will set in. One has to move through with all it’s emotions, trauma, etc before realizing their limitedness and infinitness. Until then, it’s just there waiting to be recognized.

So say for example someone absolutely believes with all their heart that there is only a heaven and hell and they are going to hell (Let's say their a Christian which makes it even more ironic, but is a common fear oftentimes used by the leaders in mainstream Christianity.) Unfortunately, their guides will most likely have to play that belief system out so that they can move through it and beyond it. They might to see the limits it has before waking up to their limitedness and realizing they don’t need to suffer an unnecessary drama unless they really want to, and they no longer want to so it will stop.

Or if they don’t get to that place in a timely manner, then the guides who are playing the drama will have to show the limitedness of that drama through the best of their ability. So I think as above, so below applies as well. If people only believe they can get knowledgeable, reliable information from an entity that is known supposedly by many, than they will believe that entity is the famous entity that they revere.

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Nov 21st

Isn’t it ironic how we get mad at the universe when we think it doesn’t move in a way that we want it to move for us, yet it moves in the way that is best for us, whether we are aware of it or not?

How many times have you had bad experiences that led you to a golden one? Maybe you were sitting in a seat on a train and then someone says that is their seat, so you have to move back to a new open seat that doesn’t have a reservation. Then it happens three or four more times and you get fed up. You wanted to sit in the first seat because there was a pretty lady you were vibing with, but now you’re sitting by some smelly dude who is dropping his corn flakes into your lap. You get frustrated because you think it isn’t in your best interest to be around this dude when in actuality, it is.

This golden opportunity could be for exponential growth in a given situation. Maybe all your years you handled a particular situation in a negative way, but then finally you catch on to it’s repetitive entrance into your life desiring to be overcome with your love and so you change the way you deal with it. Now you enter the situation with love and compassion and you can can sense the state of your consciousness evolving towards a higher way of being.

Maybe the golden opportunity is more form based and relative to your form-based wants like true love, having kids, meeting someone who can advance your career exponentially. These golden opportunities aren’t just sitting in a perfect line of predictability with everything good happening before and after. Though that most definitely can happen, it is much more realistic to say that in our human experience, golden opportunities are riddled with muddy opportunities of unpredictability. Sometimes there is a little mud, sometimes there is a lot, but the byproduct of living in a world that expresses duality as it’s default reality, golden and muddy opportunities are both part of our experience and are vital for manifesting what we came here to experience.

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After suffocating from some of the worst doctrines known to any religion on this planet and then coming out of Christianity, I went through a phase where I hated Christianity.

I hated Christianity for the unnecessary pain and suffering it caused me. 

I hated that it was unapologetic for it’s demises and unforgiving of the trauma it loaded onto me ever since I was a kid.

I hated that it escaped accountability and rather took every chance to blame it's followers for their own fear and trauma rather than to own up to the fear and suffering they caused.

I hated that it used the Bible to enslave people with their commandments.


I hated that it used the Bible as a weapon to steal foreigner’s land, to kill foreigners in their land, and to destroy them through massive genocide in the name of God.

I hated that they killed people who would not submit and believe how they wanted them to believe. I hated that they killed people within the church who tested the boundaries and fear based doctrines used for controlling the masses.

I hated how Christianity killed people who were trying to scientifically advance the world, simply because it tested the very authority of the Bible and of those in power. If the priest was teaching that the world was flat and he was “getting this information from the Bible, which was inspired by the Holy Spirit”, and then some scientists comes along and proves that to be wrong, then they would rather kill him than to evolve their mindset. Or when they tried to kill the scientist who challenged the church’s position that the sun revolves around the earth.

I hated how Christianity killed women in power, such as Joan of Arc, because she did not submit how the church leaders wanted her to submit.

I hated how Christianity teaches people that they come in this world as sinners, wretched, evil, wicked and if they don’t do exactly as the church says based off of their interpretation of the Bible, they will leave this world as sinners, wretched, evil, wicked and damned for eternity.

I hated how Christianity paints God as the most merciful in the universe and then in the same breath proclaim how a majority will burn in hell and are nonredeemable by God.

I hated how they condemned and judged wicked people but in their own churches, they scarred innocent children by grooming, sexually assaulting, and raping them in secret. I hated how Christianity took Jesus’ desire to free people from oppression within religion and then created a new religion to oppress more people.

Though thankfully this was not all versions of Christianity as of today, these are all part of Christianity's history which cannot be ignored. Christianity must be held accountable and that's why I have written so much about my experience within it. I am doing my part to hold it accountable by not staying silent about it.

And I’m also in the process of transmuting that hate into love and forgiveness. Even as much as Christianity has hurt me and billions of others, it still needs to be forgiven. It doesn’t mean I need to serve the religion anymore, but I do need to forgive those who manipulated Jesus’ words and established this new religion to spread fear and exploit others in the name of God.

Hate is what binds us, but love releases. There is nothing beneficial about holding onto the emotion of hate. There was also nothing wrong with me for experiencing that emotion to it’s fullest. For we came here to experience our emotions, not to become apathetic robots incapable of rendering any viable emotion. For it is through feeling our emotions fully that we are able to let them go fully. Emotional memories need our attention as much as they need our surrender. Attention is for feeling and surrender is for letting go and both processes need to be dipped in unconditional love.

If Christianity continues to fall short of unconditional love, we must be the example for it to either follow, or for it to suffer it’s consequences in due time. Either way, I will rejoice because love always prevails.

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November 22nd


People despise what they don’t understand, and instead of trying to move from a place of ignorance to a place of understanding, those hurt enough by their past either choose to stay in a perpetual state so that they can have a reason to judge others, or choose to transmute their pain into healing through unconditional love.

Judging feeds the desire to stand independent of others by creating distinctions. “They are evil and damned because they are not Christians and we are.” Or “They are going to hell because transgender is not good.” The list goes on and on. All that they have revealed though is their willful ignorance and lack of understanding. That can simply be remediated if they desired to move past their ego's desire to perpetuate separation and let go of that desire and replace it with a desire to understand and more reasons to love and accept that person.

Once they do make that jump, whether in this life or perhaps many lives down the road, it would be a monumental step in their evolution. We’re talking major upgrades in their ability to synthesize new information, to not get defensive when healthy people are outside of their comfortable belief systems, and learning to let go of their judgements for a healthier outlook on others.

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