Entry 851 - Entry 869
Entry 851 - Sept 15th
One of the most damaging beliefs from certain denominations of Christianity that, to this day, I am still de-conditioning from is trusting myself. It might not seem like a big deal, but it’s huge. This encompasses every aspect of oneself: trusting one’s intellect, trusting one’s memory, trusting one’s ideas, and trusting one’s journey. I realized that Christianity conditioned me to be dependent on multiple layers. In order to be dependent on God, I was conditioned that I needed to be dependent on Christianity.
In order to be dependent on Christianity, I needed to be dependent on the Christian church. In order to be dependent on the Christian church, I needed to be dependent on the Bible. In order to be properly dependent on the Bible, I needed to be dependent on the proper interpretations of the Bible from the church.
The levels of dependency were deeply embedded into one another until you couldn’t imagine God without any other aspect of Christianity. Religion and God were intertwined from the lowest levels of dependency to the highest ones. It was like a grand game of dependency with community. I saw how this shaped my life growing up and how detrimental it was to follow this limited paradigm as an adult.
For me, I realized how unconsciously I adopted this mentality until I started doing something about it. For example, when I began traveling around the world, I would ask people questions that I could figure out for myself if I just redirected that time and energy into discovering where to find the information. Once I memorized the information, I would no longer be dependent on others for that specific information. However, I realized I was naturally inclined—through childhood conditioning—to be dependent on others for answers rather than searching for them first by myself.
Once I started to break the chain of dependency, I began to realize how ingrained it was in my life in every single way. Awareness was key in breaking the habit of unnecessary dependency. Then, as I broke it more and more, I started to realize the roots of dependency were not just the people I’d been conditioned by, but rather the source of the conditioning itself, which could often be traced back to religion, society, culture, or traditions of collective systems of behavior.
For me, I saw the intersection of conditioning people to be dependent within Christianity, and I believe that’s where most of my dependency issues stemmed from. That’s another huge reason why I needed to break free from Christianity: to establish a healthy way of interacting with the world that doesn’t default into codependency.
Entry 852
Having a relationship with everything is having a relationship with God. That means literally everything—it means with those you label as good guys, bad guys, angels, demons, the Son of God, and the devilish angel of God. Everything.
Entry 853
You can spend your time watching what the Kardashians had for breakfast, or you can spend your time learning about the string theory of the universe.
You can spend your time spellbound by one religion, or you can equally spend your time learning about the very fabrics that create all religions.
Neither is inherently “right” or “wrong,” but rather the benefit—or sometimes the harm—varies from person to person. Maybe someone training to be a counselor learns a lot through the interactions displayed on a reality TV show. Therefore, it’s beneficial for them to watch it for their classes or personal learning.
Maybe for someone else, they use reality TV as a way to avoid their responsibilities and then enter a habit of spending 7+ hours a day in front of the TV watching other people live instead of getting important work done for themselves.
You can spend your time only researching things that confirm your confirmation bias, or you can spend your time challenging your confirmation biases and beliefs about everything.
In the paradigm of space, energy is often expended through linear time. Where you invest your energy, you also invest your growth—or lack thereof. Whether that growth is constricted or expansive, you get to decide.
I attribute any beneficial growth and exponential knowledge to two things:
- Investing my energy in ways that are valuable for my personal fulfillment, goals, and purpose in life.
- Always challenging myself, everyone, and everything around me.
Entry 854
If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that once Christianity became institutionalized and melded together with empires and countries for more power and control in the West (the Roman Catholic Church), that type of Christianity did not like when people questioned the limits of their established version of religion.
The list of people that Christianity either threatened to murder or did murder for questioning their doctrines is too long to list, but it’s a fact that they have done so.
Isn’t it interesting how Christianity reacts? It reminds me of countries when other countries threaten their boundaries and limits. They often respond with armies, wars, and murder to keep others out. Similarly, Christianity has responded to those who test its boundaries with armies, wars, and murder.
Christianity has constantly morphed throughout the centuries. Many denominations have successfully divorced themselves from empires and other powerful institutions, while many have tried their best to maintain the power structure and protection a country provides by staying "married" to it.
However, even those Christian denominations that have stopped manipulating people through their own commandments have had to come up with new doctrines to guarantee their followers’ devotion. Much of Catholicism and its descendant denominations still use fear, guilt, and shame to control. But instead of doing so from the vantage point of melding with a country or empire, they do so from the vantage point of a hierarchical and God-approved community.
If you question or move beyond the limits of their religion, you threaten your own stable and respected position within that Christian denomination. They train you to submit to the church because they first trained you that the church is the authoritative spokesman of God. So, if you rebel against the church, they have trained you to feel guilty, as if you're rebelling against God. It's subtle and crafty, but for centuries, it has unfortunately worked.
Entry 855
Why does man think he is the monarch of the earth?
Is it because he alone is capable of more destruction than all the animals on the planet combined?
He alone regards the economy as more valuable than a healthy environment?
What does money even mean besides the meaning we’ve given it? Apparently, accumulating wealth is more important than an abundant and thriving earth.
Can we not find a balance between thriving personally and thriving universally beyond the concept of money?
Entry 856 - Sept 16th
Based on your experience in reading ancient texts, your knowledge of the culture, and your ability to understand the material from their point of view, you will either grasp the material as it was during the time it was created or misunderstand what they were trying to convey by only considering your interpretation from your point of view.
Entry 857 - Sept 17th
If people don’t want their religion, beliefs, or ideologies challenged, then why the hell would you ask for my opinion? :D
Entry 858 - Sept 18th
I think the reason why we have so many men sexually harassing other men and women includes the following:
- No safe outlet for releasing sexual energy before marriage
- The patriarchal model
- Toxic masculinity
- Childhood trauma
- Societal, cultural, and religious trauma
I think the solution, regardless of someone’s religious preferences, is to provide safe and reasonable outlets for sexual energy, to get these men physical therapists who specialize in this issue, and to find the trauma and deal with it directly in a safe manner that won’t hurt others.
Entry 859 - Sept 19th
In order for a religion to have control over you, it needs to convince you that you are constantly sinning—even with your thoughts—in order to keep you in a constant state of fear, guilt, and shame. This allows them to keep you in a state where you feel like you’re never good enough, so you have to keep coming back to church to feel okay.
Instead of teaching people that they are more than their thoughts, they use Bible verses out of context as reasons to condemn themselves. Not only that, but they teach their followers that they are one with their thoughts rather than the awareness behind them.
For example, the Christianity I experienced demonized desire and pleasure beyond the normal capacity. Pleasure was "wrong," and if you experienced it, you were sinning. But pleasure is a normal byproduct of experience. When you eat chocolate, is that not pleasure? When you kiss your significant other, is that not pleasure? When you take a nice, hot bubble bath, is that not pleasure? Not all of our experiences will be displeasure, and to say otherwise is ignorance expressed.
I do not believe there’s an ancient man in the sky who expects us to never experience pleasure or have desires. Part of this life is to experience both the displeasure and the pleasure, the downs and the ups, the suffering and the ease. We aren’t here for only one experience. To think that only displeasure is holy while pleasure is evil is to drastically demonize our daily experiences and keep us in a perpetual state of fear, guilt, and shame.
Entry 860 - Sept 20th
Christians, you might be shocked by this, but the more I learn about how to hypnotize myself for my own good, the more I learn how Christianity has leveraged hypnotism for its own good—even at the expense of your own good.
Depending on how susceptible you are to hypnotism, Christian leaders can have your beliefs reprogrammed and changed based on how they are leveraging hypnotism. For example, every worship song you listen to has the ability to reprogram how you think about yourself, others, and God, based on the intensity of the trance they can put you in.
Once you are successfully in a theta brainwave state, your conscious mind rarely checks the validity of the belief (the lyrics of the song) before allowing it to become part of your personal belief system within your subconscious mind.
Not only that, but worship songs before a sermon can make you even more susceptible to accepting everything within the sermon as a “fact,” even if it is far from that. Your subconscious is much more likely to download it as a fact because of the hypnotic rhythm of the trance that worship songs induce—and that, unfortunately, is an actual fact.
Entry 861 - Sept 21st
It’s extremely difficult to argue with someone who always believes they are right regardless of the situation because, no matter how much you try to share your perspective, they literally cannot understand how they can be wrong since they firmly believe they are always right.
With these types of people, I see a common pattern. They are unable to put themselves in other people's shoes, so they cannot understand that other people’s perspectives, emotions, and ideas are just as valid as their own. In other words, their emotional intelligence is extremely low. However, that can be mitigated if they take the time to raise their emotional intelligence through theoretical and practical means.
Entry 862
Christianity taught me to demonize pleasure, desire, and wants. It taught me to put the religion above my own disposition, desires, and wants. Anything Christianity wanted or desired from me was ‘holy,’ meanwhile, any want or desire of mine that had nothing to do with Christianity was considered evil and immoral.
This sort of programming is detrimental because it keeps people in a state of perpetual fear until they find the courage to break free from it.
To those Christians who have been thoroughly indoctrinated with Christian ideology rooted in fear, guilt, and shame, I have empathy for them because I realize how deep those roots are. But I also believe they need to choose to question everything they’ve been programmed to believe since the conditioning from the religion began.
Entry 863
People who aren’t aware that we are in cyber warfare, where countries are using misinformation to manipulate elections—such as what the Russians did to help get Trump elected—are the ones these people target.
These are the ones who repost the Russian misinformation on their Facebook. These are the susceptible people who believe anything that’s on the internet without doing thorough research to determine if it is factual or not.
I’m not here to criticize these people, but to point out that awareness of the spread of misinformation helps prepare people to avoid being manipulated by others through the web.
Entry 864
The Christian belief that the book of Revelation in the Bible will literally happen and that life will end in a doomsday, hellish way is really sad.
There’s a potentiality that their belief is strong enough in another alternate parallel universe to the point where they are experiencing that. But please save yourself the hassle and don’t manifest that into your current reality. You’ll thank yourself later, I promise.
Entry 865
I heard a physicist talk about how aliens don’t want things from us because we have nothing to give. I would agree that a lot of the elements on Earth might not be necessary for them.
But I would also argue that, rather than harvesting elements from Earth, aliens would be much more likely to harvest the souls of people to work for them in later lifetimes through blood contracts and sacrifices.
If I know anything about history, it’s that there exist people with an insatiable and disgusting desire to enslave others against their wills or manipulate them into signing something that makes them slaves in some way, shape, or form.
What’s the difference if aliens of all sorts exist? As above, so below—isn’t that what they say?
Entry 866
The reason why the Bible could potentially be just stories that elaborate on the actual lives of humans on planet Earth is because the stories reflect the current state of consciousness of the time. This is obvious when you see how the first three-quarters of the Bible is predominantly about warring over land and resources and blaming the bloodshed on God.
Imagine that, in the multiverse, the Christian narrative of the main event of the cosmos is God and the devil fighting in a battle destined for the majority of people to rot and burn in hell for eternity for failing to profess a finite belief in an infinite God while alive on Earth.
Not only does it logically not make sense, but it’s so poorly written and so simplistic that I don’t believe this glorious, intricate, harmonious universe could end in such a chaotic, embarrassing, disharmonious, and sad way.
Entry 867 - Sept 27th
If you are an empath who connects easily to other people’s energy, please make sure you are taking the time to cleanse and detach from unwanted and harmful energetic connections from people.
Just like if you don’t take a shower for months, you’re most likely going to be in there for a while. Similarly, if you’ve never cleansed and detached from other people’s harmful energy, it’s going to take some disciplined time.
Don’t let unwanted energy linger. If a person or situation keeps popping up incessantly, that’s a sign you need to cleanse your body from it so that it doesn’t store in your body as unwanted trauma.
What I mean by “people’s harmful energy” is that, sometimes, when there is an open connection, people can not only pass feelings of love, happiness, joy, and serenity but also try to pass or project their unhealed trauma onto you. Or even worse, they will try to traumatize you because of their unhealed trauma.
The most important thing to be aware of is who you allow to connect with you, whether that’s through words or through touch. A lot of people don’t even realize that they are sustaining harmful connections with others until that person re-traumatizes them with their words and actions. I didn’t even realize how drained I felt from someone until I got sick for the first time in years and broke out with a bacterial infection.
I’m feeling better now, but it took me time to find the reason behind why my body was so weak. I want to help people heal, but I’m also not an expert in helping people heal from trauma.
Entry 868 - Sept 29th
I think everyone is beautiful, but what I find the most attractive is someone who balances their masculine and feminine energy inwardly and outwardly.
Entry 869
I think the reason why trans people are appreciated intensely on the internet is because, for so long, we spent most of our lives hating our bodies because our bodies didn’t honestly represent how we felt inwardly.
However, when we finally started living our truth and accepted that we are trans, people can tell that we now love ourselves. That love changes not only the person but everyone around them to the degree they allow themselves to feel that love.
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