Thought Dump Part 30

Sept 15th

One of the most damaging beliefs from certain denominations of Christianity that til this day I am still de-conditioning from is trusting myself.

It might not seem like a big deal, but it’s huge. This encompasses every aspect of oneself. Trusting one’s intellect. Trusting one’s memory. Trusting one’s ideas. Trusting one’s journey. I realized that Christianity conditioned me to be dependent in multiple layers. In order to be dependent on God, I was conditioned that I needed to be dependent on Christianity. In order to be dependent on Christianity, I needed to be dependent on the Christian church. In order to be dependent on the Christian church, I needed to be dependent on the Bible. In order to be properly dependent on the Bible, I needed to be dependent on the proper interpretations of the Bible from the church.

The levels of dependency were deeply embedded into one another until you couldn’t imagine God without any other aspect of Christianity. Until religion and God were intertwined from the lowest levels of dependency to the highest ones. It was like a grand game of dependency with community. I saw how this shaped my life growing up and also how detrimental it was to follow this limited paradigm as an adult.

For me, I realized how unconsciously I adopted this mentality until I started doing something about it. For example, I realized that when I began traveling around the world, I would ask people questions that I myself could figure out if I just re-directed that time and energy into discovering where I can find that information so that I wouldn’t have to be dependent on locales for that information. Then once I memorized that information, I would no longer be dependent on looking for that specific information. However, I realized I’m naturally inclined through childhood conditioning to be dependent on others for answers rather than searching for them first by myself.

Once I started to break the chain of dependency, I started to realize how ingrained it used to be a part of my life in every single way. Awareness was key in breaking the habit of unnecessary dependency. Then once I was able to break it more and more, I started to realize the roots of dependency were not because of just the people I've been conditioned by, but rather more so the source of the conditioning which can traced oftentimes back to religion, society, culture, or traditions of collective systems of behavior. For me, I saw the intersection of conditioning people to be dependent within Christianity, and so that is where I personally believe most of the dependency issues come from within me, and another huge reason why I needed to break free from Christianity to establish a healthy way of interacting with the world which doesn’t default into co-dependency.
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Having a relationship with everything is having a relationship with God…. That means literally everything… It means with those you label as good guys, bad guys, angels, demons, the Son of God, the devilish angel of God. Everything…

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You can spend your time watching what the Kardashians had for breakfast, or you could spend your time learning about the string theory of the universe.

You can spend your time spellbound by one religion, or you could equally spend your time learning about the very fabrics that create all religions.

Neither is inherently “right” or “wrong”, but rather the benefit, or sometimes the harm varies from person to person. Maybe people are training to be a counselor and they learn a lot through interactions displayed on reality tv show. Therefore, it is beneficial for them to watch it for their classes or personal learning.

Maybe for somebody else, they use reality tv in a way to avoid their responsibilities and then enter a habit of spending 7+ hours a day in front of the tv watching other people live rather than get important work done for themselves.

You can spend your time only researching things that confirm your confirmation bias, or you could spend your time challenging your confirmation biases and beliefs about everything.

In the paradigm of space, energy oftentimes is expended through linear time. Where you invest your energy, you also invest your growth or lack thereof. Whether that be in a constricted or expansive way, you get to decide that.

I attribute any beneficial growth and exponential amount of knowledge to two things: 1. Investing my energy in ways that are valuable for my personal fulfillment, goals, and purpose in life. 2. Always trying to challenge myself, everyone and everything around me.

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If there’s one thing I know for sure is that once Christianity became institutionalized and melded together with empires and countries for more power and control in the west (the Roman Catholic church), that type of Christianity did not like when people questioned the limits of their established version of religion.

The list of people that Christianity either threatened to murder or did murder for questioning their doctrines is too long to list, but it is a fact that they have done so.

Isn’t it interesting the reaction of Christianity? It reminds me of countries when other countries threaten their boundaries and limits. Oftentimes they respond with armies, wars, and murder to keep them out. Similarly Christianity has responded from those who test the boundaries with armies, wars and murder.

Christianity has constantly morphed throughout the centuries. Many denominations have successfully divorced themselves from empires and other powerful institutions while many have tried their best to maintain the power structure and protection a country provides by staying 'married' to it.

However, even those Christian denominations that have stopped manipulating people through their own commandments, they have had to come up with new doctrines to guarantee their followers devotion. Much of Catholicism and their descended denominations therefore still use fear, guilt and shame to control, but instead of from the vantage point of melding one with a country or an empire, they do so from the vantage point of a hierarchical and God-approved community.

If you question or move beyond the limits of their religion, then you threaten your own stable and respected position within that Christian denomination. They train you to submit to the church because they first trained you that the church is the authoritative spokesman of God. So if you rebel against the church, they have trained you to feel guilty and as if you're rebelling against God. It's subtle and crafty, but for centuries it has unfortunately worked.

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Why is it that man thinks he is the monarch of the earth?

Is it because he alone is capable of more destruction than all the animals on the planet combined?

He alone regards the economy as more valuable than a healthy environment?

What does money even mean besides that which we have given meaning to? Apparently to accumulate wealth is more important than an abundant and thriving earth?

Can we not find a balance between thriving personally and thriving universally beyond the concept of money?

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Sept 16th

Based off of your experience in reading ancient texts, your knowledge of the culture, your ability to understand the material from their point of view, will shape your ability to either grasp the material how it was grasped during the time it was created, or misunderstand what they were trying to convey by only considering your interpretation from your point of view.

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Sept 17th

If people don’t want their religion, beliefs, ideologies challenged, then why the hell would you ask for my opinion??? :D

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Sept 18th

I think the reason why we have so many men sexually harassing other men and women are the following reasons:

1. No safe outlet for releasing sexual energy before marriage
2. The Patriarchal model
3. Toxic Masculinity
4. Childhood trauma
5. Societal/Cultural/Religious trauma

I think the solution, regardless of someone’s religious preferences, is to provide safe and reasonable outlets for sexual energy, to get these men physical therapists who specialize in this issue, and to find the trauma and deal with it directly in a safe manner that won’t hurt others.

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Sept 19th

In order for a religion to have some control over you, it needs to convince you that you are constantly sinning, even with your thoughts, in order to keep you in a constant state of fear, guilt, shame. This allows them to keep you in a state where you feel like you’re never good enough and so you have to keep coming back to church to be okay.

Instead of teaching people they are more than their thoughts, they use Bible verses out of context as reasons to condemn oneself. Not only that, but they they teach their followers they are one with their thoughts rather than the awareness behind them.

For example, the Christianity I experienced was that they demonized desire pleasure beyond the normal capacity. Pleasure was wrong and if you did it, you were sinning. But see pleasure is normal byproduct of experience. When you eat chocolate, is that not pleasure? When you kiss your significant other, is that not pleasure? When you take a nice, hot bubble bath, is that not pleasure? Not all of our experience will be displeasure, and to say that is the case only is ignorance expressed.

I do not believe there’s an ancient man in the sky who expects us to never be pleasurable or have desires. Part of this life is to experience both the displeasure and the pleasure, the downs and the ups, the suffering and the ease. We aren’t here for only one experience and to think only displeasure is holy while pleasure is evil is to drastically demonize our daily experience and keep us in a perpetuate state of fear, guilt and shame.

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Sept 20th

Christians, you might be shocked by this, but the more I learn about how to hypnotize myself for the benefit of my own good, the more I learn how Christianity has leveraged hypnotism for its own good, even at the expense of your own good.

Depending on how susceptible you are to hypnotism, Christian leaders can have your beliefs reprogrammed and changed based on how they are leveraging hypnotism. For example, every worship song you listen to has the ability to reprogram how you think of yourself, how you think others and how you think of God based on the intensity of the trance they can put you in.

Once you are successfully in a theta brain wave state, your conscious mind rarely checks the validity of the belief (the lyrics of the song) before allowing it to be a part of your own personal belief system within your subconscious mind.

Not only that, but worship songs before a sermon can make you even more susceptible to accepting everything within the sermon as a “fact”, even though it is far from that. Your subconscious is much more likely to download it as a fact because of the hypnotic rhythm of trance that worship songs induce and that unfortunately is an actual fact.

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Sept 21st

It’s extremely difficult to be an argument with someone who always believes they are right regardless of the situation because no matter how much you try to share your perspective, they literally cannot understand how they can be wrong since they have the firm belief that they are always right.

With these type of people, I see a common pattern. The person is unable to put themselves in other peoples shoes, therefore they are not able to understand that the other people’s perspectives, emotions, ideas are just as valid as their own. In other words, their emotional intelligence is extremely low however that can be mitigated if they take the time to raise their emotional intelligence through theoretical and practical means.

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Christianity taught me to demonize pleasure, desire, wants. It taught me to put the religion above my own disposition, my own desires, my own wants. Anything Christianity wanted or desired from me was ‘holy’ meanwhile any want or desire of mine which had nothing to do with Christianity was considered evil and immoral. This sort of programming is detrimental because it keeps people in a state of perpetual fear until they find the courage to break free from it.

To those Christians who have been thoroughly indoctrinated with the Christian ideology that is fear, guilt and shame based, I have empathy for them because I realize how deep those roots are in them. But I also believe they need to choose to question everything they’ve been programmed to believe since the conditioning from the religion began.

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People who aren’t aware that we are in cyber warfare where countries are using misinformation to manipulate elections, such as what the Russians did to help get Trump elected, then they are the ones these people go for. These are the ones that re-post the Russian misinformation on their Facebook. These are the susceptible people who believe anything that’s on the internet without doing thorough research to determine if it is factual or not. I’m not here to criticize these people, but to merely point out that ones awareness of the spread of misinformation helps prepare people from being manipulated by others through the web.

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The Christian belief that the book of revelation in the Bible will literally happen and that life ends as a doomsday hellish way is really sad indeed. There's a potentiality that their belief is strong enough in another alternate parallel universe to the point where they are experiencing that, but please save yourself the hassle and don't manifest that into your current reality. You'll thank yourself later, I promise.

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So I heard this one physicist talk about how aliens don’t want things from us because we have nothing to give, and I would agree that a lot of the elements in our earth might not be necessary for them, but I would also argue that rather than them wanting to harvest elements from earth, I think that they would much more likely be interested in harvesting the souls of people to work for them in later lifetimes through blood contracts and blood sacrifices.

If I know anything about history, there exists people who have an insatiable and disgusting desire to enslave others against their wills or to manipulate them to sign something that makes them a slave in some way, shape or form. So what is the difference if aliens of all sorts exist? As above, so below is what they say, isn't it?

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The reason why the Bible could potentially be just stories that elaborate the actual lives of humans created by us on planet earth to make sense of our time here and of the heavens is because the stories reflect the current state of consciousness of that time and that is obviously seen by how the first three quarters of the Bible is predominantly about warring over land and resources and then blaming the bloodshed on God.

Imagine that in the multiverse, the Christian narrative that the main event of the cosmos is God and the devil fighting in a battle that is destined for a majority of people to rot and burn in hell for eternity for failing to profess a finite belief of an infinite God while they are alive on earth. Not only does it logically not make any sense, but it’s so poorly written, and so simplistic that I don’t believe this glorious, intricate, harmonious universe could end with such a chaotic, embarrassing, disharmonious and sad way.

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Sept 27th


If you are an empath who connects easily to other peoples energy, please make sure you are taking the time to cleanse and detach from unwanted and harmful energetic connections from people.

Just like if you don’t take a shower for months, you’re most likely going to be in their for a while. Similarly, if you’ve never cleansed and detached from other peoples harmful energy, it’s going to take some disciplined time.

Don’t let unwanted energy linger. If a person or situation keeps popping up incessantly, that’s a sign you need to cleanse your body from it so that it doesn’t store in your body as unwanted trauma.

What I mean by “peoples harmful energy” is sometimes when there is an open connection, people can not only pass feelings of love, happiness, joy and serenity, but also try to pass or project their unhealed trauma onto you. Or even worse, they will try to traumatize you because of their unhealed trauma.

The most important thing to be aware of us is who you allow to connect with you whether that’s through words or through touch. A lot of people don’t even realize that they are sustaining harmful connections with people until that person re-traumatizes you with their words and actions. I didn’t even realize how drained I felt from someone until I got sick for the first time in years and broke out with a bacterial infection. I’m feeling better now, but it took me time to find the reason behind why my body was so weak. I want to help people heal, but I’m also not an expert in helping people heal from trauma.
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Sept 29th

I think everyone is beautiful, but what I find the most attractive is someone who balances their masculine and feminine energy inwardly and outwardly.

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I think the reason why trans people are appreciated intensely on the internet is because for so long we spent most of our lives hating our bodies because our bodies didn't honestly represent how we felt inwardly. However, when we finally started living our truth and accepted that we are trans, people can tell that we now love ourselves and that love changes not only the person, but everyone around them to the degree they allow themselves to feel that love.