Exploring Life

Entry 1,150 - January 27th 2022 The reason why I love going to the Jacuzzi at night and talking to Christians about the benefits of not believing in unnecessary doctrines of fear is because I can better understand new arguments that I may not have heard before. There was this one guy who went to this Pentecostal church, and we had a really great conversation. He was bringing up strong rebuttals to why he should believe in his fear-based doctrines, and I was trying my best to show the irrationality, the fear, and why it does more harm than help to identify with them. I brought up that one of the surest ways to get close to God is not through other people’s experiences of God (The Bible) but rather directly with God through their own personal experience. He then brought up two major arguments. One, that he doesn’t trust himself, and two, how that would create chaos because everyone would believe in their own version of God. For the first one, I myself cannot convince someone to trust the...

Entry 1,140 - January 20th 2022 People's perspectives of what Jesus went through were exactly that—their perspectives. Their view of his experience is from their level of consciousness that they are currently at. It’s from their level of understanding. The way they reported the events was in such a way that made sense to them. One person who supposedly saw Jesus suffering on the cross for hours had their perspective of it, but it might not be true for everyone, including Jesus' perspective. Maybe from Jesus’ perspective, the feeling of pain and suffering are two different things, and he might've felt pain but had not suffered. One can feel pain in the body (being deprived of water, food, or being harmed) and still not suffer (emotional distress of events) based on the depth, breadth, and maturity in their level of consciousness. This is similar to how one person can have their whole day ruined because someone spilled coffee on their new outfit, while another person laughs i...

Entry 1,104 - January 1st 2022 Something I realized when I was doing my fifteen-minute meditation today was that last year, I tried so hard to have people think like me rather than just loving and accepting them as they are, where they are. I realize that is probably why I received similar behavior, but also within other areas of my life. Now I’m learning to let people be where they would like to be unless they are open to hearing, growing, discussing, and expanding together. Arguments are fine, but forcing someone to see like me is pushing it a little too far. There are people who want to argue to see if someone can find a good enough argument for them to let go of a limiting belief they hold onto, and there are people who argue because they have absolutely no desire to listen to you and want to force you to see as they see. I hope to always reflect a positive, open way of discussing to not only teach but also to learn. To not force my view on others, but to welcome it into their peri...

Entry 1,097 - Oct 6th 2021 God, beyond religion, is perfect, but it is proven that Christianity has become corrupt by utilizing closed doors of confession and late-night Bible groups to abuse its followers. Religion needs to hold accountable the sexual abusers who are still allowed to be leaders, or else Christianity will die out from its own disgusting behavior. We’re so done with sexual abuse. It needs to stop. It angers and disgusts me that innocent children are being manipulated by bishops, priests, pastors, and teachers all over the world. It makes me physically sick in my stomach that this is STILL going on. Jesus didn’t come to create another religion, and definitely not a religion that hurts children. Entry 1,098 - Oct 31st I experienced anxiety and panic attacks largely due to the fundamental doctrines taught to me within Christianity that instilled fear into my heart and beliefs about gender identity. I was then prescribed anxiety medication before I finally came out to my ...