Thought Dump Part 40

December 17th 2021

It's never about the situation itself but rather your beliefs about it that make the grandest difference.

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Snippet on Traveling

September 30th 2021

Traveling is learning to balance the predictability with the unpredictability. It’s learning to balance stability with instability. It’s learning to be okay when things don’t go as planned and instead of reacting negatively to the unpredictable, learning to embrace it with love and appreciation for the growth it provides.

Some days you might make your train. Other days you may miss it by a couple of seconds. There might be weeks where you meet amazing friends who become like family and change your life for the better. And at the same time, you could meet the most challenging people who have no desire to truly help you, but use you relentlessly for their own gain. Whether that’s trying to lie to the police about you to get out of them not paying because they ran out of money, or it could be a person on the street who steals all your valuables.

At the end of the day, you cannot predict every challenge, or else where would be the fun in the present moment? Part of challenges is learning the best way to handle them. The way that is least taxing in a negative way, and most beneficial for you and everyone around you.

There will be moments where you will feel alone. Like no one sees you. No one knows you and you might even wonder who you are on this trip. You might feel so unseen that you could just vanish and no one would even see and even if they did, they wouldn’t care. It makes one feel a deep appreciation for family, friends and one’s own community. To be seen. To be heard. To be loved is a very special feeling when you don’t feel any of that as you travel from city to city. From destination to destination.

But then you learn that love has always been there, but maybe you aren’t used to experiencing it or seeing it as a foreigner in a foreign land. Then you have to retrain yourself to see how you are divinely protected. Divinely loved by every interaction, every connection, and every place you travel. Not necessarily from a bodily stand point, but from your mere existence as an immortal divine soul.

You really start to conceptualize and intuitively enter into the realization of how we all willingly play roles, we all willingly choose our lives, where we were born, who we would like to come into contact with, the types of challenges we would like to experience. Not necessarily because we need to grow, but more so because we love to experience. If it’s also perfect with no contrast to imperfection, then how can you truly appreciate the depth of perfection?

I speak of perfection not meaning completion, but always fulfilled with not truly needing anything. Perfect in the sense of your awareness is experiencing a temporary forgetfulness of your true nature as perfection. Perfection as in the state of experiencing, being, exploring. Because what fun is it if you’ve already finished the journey and you have no where to go? What fun is it if you’ve already explored everything and now you have nothing new to learn, nothing new to challenge you?

If that is what true perfection is, then it would get boring after a while. Not expanding and just staying in the same spot, same experience, same completion would eventually warrant the desire to explore oneself. Then once one realizes we desire exploration, challenges, and new realities to inhabit, we start to not only welcome the good, but also the bad, knowing it is just as vital and beautiful to experience the contrast to truly experience the beauty. 

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October 20th 2021

“The Way” Jesus taught was extraordinarily different than “The Way” Paul of Tarsus taught. First of all, Paul never actually met Jesus in the flesh. His vision was by himself and therefore, with no witnesses, we can only assume 

A: He saw Jesus and interpreted his message correctly. 

B: He saw Jesus but misinterpreted Jesus message. Instead of listening to Jesus’ message of simply stop persecuting my people, he did so BUT THEN he went on to create a very organized and established religion all over the area. 

C: He didn’t see Jesus and was simply delusional. d

D: It was a foreign negative entity pretending to be Jesus that had the desire to establish a new organized religion that would help them get what they want. They found an influential Jewish man that would blindly follow with passion his edict in order to make it the most convincing to the public so the most amount of people would join this new religion.

What we do know for sure is Jesus’ message vs Paul’s message are not always the same, and I’ll go into detail as to why:

When people accused Jesus of calling himself God, Jesus showed how their own scripture says they are God. When they tried to deify him, he would show their own divinity, as in how we are all one with God.

Paul on the other hand, deified Jesus and then wrote about how everyone was sinful and needed Jesus to die on the cross in order to be saved.

When Jesus healed people, he wasn’t about making a show, he actually told people to be quiet about it and go about their business. He didn’t go around and establish his own new religious churches, he attended and taught within Jewish synagogues to his people. He wasn’t focused on dividing the community into two distinct religions, but rather on uniting them and taking them beyond any potentially limiting or dogmatic doctrines within Judaism.

Meanwhile Paul of Tarsus not only made Jesus’ teachings very public, but he established new Christian churches that were separate and distinct from the Jewish synagogues. I understand that it was not conducive for him to stay at the Jewish synagogues, but it also wasn’t conducive for him to establish public churches that deviated from the oneness Jesus was clear on sharing. 

There was a reason why Jesus had his 12 disciples and why he didn’t have thousands of them. He wanted to teach a few close friends these very high concepts so that they were not twisted out of their original form to be used for harm. He was more focused on a few getting it really right than thousands barely latching on. He wanted to impact the system from within with very qualified disciples rather than break the religion in half by creating a new religion that one day will have its followers murder the Jews in the name of their religion.

Paul on the other hand had a different perspective than Jesus. Since he wrote in such a way that conveyed that everyone is born as wretched sinners in need of a savior, his goal was for the public to be saved, regardless of if they are spiritually mature or not. His goal was to convince them to believe his story… To convince them to believe in Jesus divinity and to continue to not believe in their own divinity. 

He was bent on sharing this particular one dimensional belief until as many people as possible would believe in it. Now don’t get me wrong, I think he genuinely believed it. But even people with great intentions can misinterpret ghost personages without ever testing to see if they truly are who they say they are or truly understanding the message they were trying to convey.

How many foreign negative entities would benefit from a new organized religion that would do its bidding? How many foreign, negative entities would seek a susceptible person who does not question where this “supposed vision” is truly coming from? 

So in short my question is are you practicing the Christian religion established by a man, or are you following the mystical teachings of Jesus? 

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June 2020

When I think of Christianity, it's like I'm looking from the outside, in. As if the Christmas story where everyone is inside enjoying Christmas opening presents and I'm outside the window viewing it. Not necessarily missing it, but not not missing it. Just being, watching, observing. And I can go in whenever I want, but it doesn't own me. The religion does not govern me in any way, shape or form. Only God is my identification, my everything. I feel liberated from all forms of religion and completely released unto God. 

I feel like I've hit a dangerous level of freedom in God. Beyond anything I've experienced before. I feel free from unnecessary guilt, I attribute much more mercy and Grace to God than I did before, and I feel like I can see the bigger picture much more than before.

While inside of Christianity I felt often narrow minded, confused on which doctrine was right, how no one knew for sure which one was right but everyone was okay with that and still made it a thing to push the doctrine that we don't even know for sure is right down other people's throats in the most non volatile way possible. It's almost like the message was more about making it to heaven then it was about establishing and celebrating a personal relationship with the Creator of the Universe. Or maybe that was just my experience.

I feel free from a possible collective egoistic perspective. Free from the perspective that because they don't wear the name Christian and don't believe our beliefs, they are destined to hell for eternity. Freed from the way of thinking where there is no forgiveness for unbelief and there is no forgiveness for wrong belief. That even your perception or denial of the Trinity is enough to land you in hell for eternity. This idea that even the way you think about God is enough to grant you a lifelong imprisonment in hell never seemed like the type of God I loved and put my hope in. 

I started to realize that God must have more love and mercy than to send souls into hell for eternity for failing to believe the exact way the churches want us to believe even though we all don't know for sure what is the absolute correct way to believe. It goes to show that having the Bible did not create one, unified church, but instead 44,000 different churches sprouted from it. Each denomination having a certain checklist of what you have to do or what you should not do in order to get to heaven. Some saying you must simply say a prayer, others saying you need to be baptized, others even saying you need to take the Eucharist or else. 

Having this diversity in the Bible only affirms what I already saw as true within: Every man's perception varies. Their experiences are valid and if you don't believe exactly as someone believes, I don't think God's going to throw you in hell. Even though the Catholics say if you don't do this or you do this, or the Evangelists say if you don't do this or you do this, or the charismatics, or the Mormons, or the so on. Someone can believe that there is a God and be a horrible person, but what good would that do once I'm before God? Would it have been better to not believe in anything but be the most caring, generous, loving human being who constantly helps others out? If the polarity of heaven and hell being final eternal destinations are solely based off of what you believed while on earth, then why does the first 3/4 of the Bible not even mention eternal damnation, or even mention eternal damnation because based on the WAY you believe. 

Why do Christians differ on every area in some way, shape or form in big areas and small areas but yet are so confident to affirm their way is the way to get into heaven and the other ways of believing within Christianity are wrong? When did the conversation become so much more about how to get into heaven rather than how to have a firm, solid, loving relationship with the Creator? Where did they get the confidence to affirm their perception is correct based off of their interpretation of the Bible over someone else's interpretation of the Bible when no one knows for sure and both parties get their belief from the Bible? On top of this, it baffles me the judgment that those in Christianity lay on those who do not fit their exact beliefs. Between little things, big things, small things... Hearing and judging other groups was a norm growing up. It was almost a way for the group to stay alive and for them to keep their distinctiveness. The ego doesn't want to die so imagine the collective ego and how much stronger and how much more that doesn't want to die.

I don't know. I'll be the first to admit it and I'll also be the first to admit I feel that the reality is most people don't truly 100% know that everything they believe is 100% perfect, infallible doctrine with no mistakes, even when they act like they do they don't truly know. And that's the crazy thing about faith is it isn't exclusive to Christianity. Faith exists outside of Christianity too. The difference is there are people who use their faith to kill, judge, and destroy and there are people who use their faith to love, appreciate and take care of people. We have both examples of that inside and outside of Christianity proving religion isn't the answer, God is. I don't believe it's right to say someone will go to hell if they don't think of God exactly how you think God is when you can't even fully fathom God in His entirety. And yet you're bold enough to say to that person that God will throw that person in hell for thinking of Himself not exactly how you or your church think of God absolutely baffles me.

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December 25th 2021

With the whole Rittenhouse case here is the problem, whether he was found guilty or not, this is the issue at hand. This Rittenhouse boy came with a huge gun “to protect businesses from being vandalized.” First of all, when was it ever a good idea to be a small boy with a bunch of other small boys whent their are a bunch of people protesting police who are murdering marginalized black people when they aren’t committing any crime. Here Rittenhouse came to “save businesses” in the midst of people who are hurt, broken, crying desperately for a change in the police system and most importantly that they will stop being murdered for no reason. BLM is literally asking the police for the bare minimum… To not be afraid to go down the street, worried if they are going to come home that night or not because some police officer thought they were holding a gun when they were holding a purse, or a burrito, or a toy. What Rittenhouse did was like if someone went to a funeral where a man was murdered by a communist party and then supporters of that communist party come over with their guns and said, “We’re just here to make sure they don’t vandalize any buildings.” 

Like what the heck? How does that make any sense? They are grieving for this man who was murdered. Yes there are going to be idiots everywhere who make people who have nothing to do with the police killings suffer by vandalizing their property and breaking in and stealing stuff, but again. That’s just stupid people being stupid. They’re taking advantage of the mob herds because they know the police are less likely to catch them since they are in the masses and they are using it as a time to do what they already wanted to do before, steal and destroy. But to them it just provides more protection because it’s harder to to catch 100 criminials in the night who are vandalizing and stealing rather than one random idiot on the street who is doing it. Criminals are taking advantage of the BLM peaceful protests by saying they are “BLM” and then using it as a scapegoat for their own foolish gain. Leave protecting the city to the people who are supposed to be protecting the city, police officers. 

 If people don't want their personal business vandalized, then they themselves can choose to set up extra precautions but besides, that, there isn't much more we can do if the first and second line of defense are already torn. Damage from criminals sadly happens inside and outside of riots and protests. We can try our best to prevent it, but there will be time where these idiots work in numbers to hurt people and their business that which had nothing to do with police brutality in the first place. Unfortunately there are people who use protests as a way to create chaos out of other innocent people who come to the streets as a plea for change. It's sick that criminals take advantage of these innocent people's platform for change. It's disgusting and those criminals should be ashamed of themselves for hurting small businesses that have nothing to do with the police murdering black people unjustly.

But also on the other side, I think it was beyond stupid for Rittenhouse and his other 14 year old buddies to try to take matters into their own hands instead of leaving it to the police and small business owners, to go into an area where criminals are using BLM protests as a scapegoat for illegal and harmful behavior and to try to stop them with lethal weapons. What did they think? Oh if I see someone hurting a small business I'll just threaten them with my gun and then they'll stop? Or "Oh worst case scenario I'll shoot him in the foot and they will leave the small business alone?" If the police are not there, then why the hell would he go with a bunch of kids with guns be there? How did they ever think that was a good idea in the first place? Not only that, but this only ironically showed how white people are treated with privilege in relation to how black people are treated. 

After Rittenhouse shot people, the police shouted for him to move out of the way and then just kept going even though he was armed. If it were a black person even without a gun, with not even killing anyone, he could already be dead. Black people have been shot for the strangest reasons. So if anything, Rittenhouse served as another clear cut example of the issue with racism. White people are not seen as threats in our society, even when they shoot people. Even if it’s for self defense, there are PLENTY of other non-lethal ways he could have protected himself in the midst of this situation. 

 He could have brought stun guns, pepper spray, and a helmet and pads. He could have just stood there with everyone and if he saw suspicious or criminal behavior from people taking advantage of the pain, he could’ve called the cops and reported it without drawing unnecessary attention to himself. Or better yet, he could’ve never gone in the first place and then two people would still be alive. But to go in the midst of a bunch of random people where some are protesting and then there are criminals hiding within the protests to steal and destroy… To bring his little friends and walk in with guns… Did he really assume that wouldn’t incite any violence? Did he really assume that bringing a gun was going to make everyone behave? Did he really think that wouldn’t instantly draw attention from any potential criminals who are using these protests for personal gain rather than supporting our black brothers and sisters?

If anything, this shows that this young man lacks enough empathy to properly understand why his actions were not smart. He should have reached out to the police if he really wanted to help instead of take matters into his own hands. He should have thought of non-lethal ways to help instead of go from zero to “you’re dead” mentality. Yes, I understand self defense is a thing, but he is the one who willingly put himself into that position. He is responsible for inciting violence by bringing loaded, lethal weapons trying to protect buildings when people are protesting and where criminals hide waiting for chances to cause trouble. 

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December 30th 2021

A question I have for myself... If you love women then love the women. Why do you have to make all these extra labels beyond gay, bisexual, straight?

I'm not saying it's wrong or right, but rather it has the capacity to create limits when they aren't necessary. There are open minded labels, but that's still bounded by a definition.

If I want to eat a cake I can declare to myself and everyone else that I'm going to eat a cake and then eat a cake, but who cares? Why not just eat the cake and people who care will notice and people who don't won't.

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So you're telling me that you believe that we only have one life and then we never get to experience Earth again? You're telling me that you mastered the life on Earth completely to the point where you're able to reach the epitome of God and you don't ever want to come back and challenge yourself again? 

First of all, there's so much to explore. Are you really content with just experiencing what it's like being a mother of five and nothing else? You aren't curious what it would be like to be a mother of one? Or a Caucasian lady somewhere in Europe? Or an African woman? Or a rich man in charge of a huge corporation that spans multiple continents? You really only want to experience one life of challenges? 

I don't buy it for me because I would not want to experience just one lifetime. Who just play Sims over and over as one Avatar and never experiences multiple careers, multiple relationships, multiple homes, multiple situations? We aren't geared towards a static and boring experience. We are geared to exploring Life and all that is.