Exploring Life

Entry 1,702 - March 17th 2023 Mean Girls the movie may be the girl bible for the ladies, but rap is the only place where a man can be cocky, talk about pussy, and somehow still keep his reputation. So many modern rap songs are trash. Remove the beats and keep the verses, and they sound like a broken percussion by a creep who makes poems about women’s private parts. When are they going to focus on women’s smarts, their hearts, and their love in every fart??? Entry 1,703 - March 21st I got bored, so I started living my best life. Entry 1,704 - March 22nd White magic, new age, Kundalini spirituality that stresses one needs to be detached from emotions—completely contrary to why we came here—is super toxic. Any idea of transcending your emotions is also a denial of our humanity because we came here with an emotional body to feel every emotion, not just “the good ones”… Whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean. When you deny your emotions, you also deny yourself. You deny the reason why y...

Entry 1,684 - March 2nd 2023 I was confused why I wasn’t like the others, Why I preferred one over a thousand lovers. One kiss for eternity over hookups in beds. Was I conditioned by church to stay a virgin, or did I choose that out of my own internal provision? Was I programmed to detest sex, or did I detest the idea of it being treated as anything less than an act of divinity? Was I asexual, or were my standards too high? What about sex keeps me a virgin? Is it God? The church? Or myself? A Virgo in astrology might have foreshadowed the realization, But if I don’t need it, why make a big deal about it? If I feel the reason is not persuasive enough, why do it with another? And so I don’t. Does that make me anything? Maybe it just makes me human. Perhaps there is an undertone, As I write this, I feel it bubble to the surface. I’ve always known I’m a hopeless romantic at heart, Falling deeply for people in my dreams without an ounce of showing any of those feelings outwardly. But it rea...